Faith

I wanted to share a few thoughts on something personal to me today. I want to talk about faith. Now, don’t run out of here before you hear me out. There will be no fire and brimstone preaching here. Faith takes many forms. I’ve found that my faith in God is much rockier than the average person likes to describe theirs. We get this image that when you believe in God and serve Him that everything in your life falls into place. I’m sorry, but that’s simply not true. I’m not perfect, and unfortunately, neither is my life. I’ve found myself crying out to God and asking “why” on several nights. I’ve even blamed God for a few things in the past. My faith has wavered, and I’ve come very close to turning away from God many times. For some reason, I always find myself coming back to Him, though. No matter how much evidence there is against my God’s existence or against me ever being blessed by Him, I find that I continue to come back to Him and believe with all I have that He exists and will bless and love me. It’s the same with many relationships. Sometimes there’s no reason to believe that a marriage will work, but more times than not, people continue to fight for and have faith in the people they love. Are we all just fools? We believe in things that there are no explanations for. We put our trust in things that we cannot see and trust people who are by nature selfish. When I examine the facts from the outside, I have to say that I look pretty stupid sometimes. I believe in things that I can’t see, and I have faith that if I continue to plug away and try with all I have at my craft that good things will happen. Is it out of self-preservation that I do this? Maybe I need to believe that. If I believed that there was no God, I would never know success, and the woman that I’m so desperately seeking didn’t exist, then what hope would there be? Would there even be a reason for living? Hope, that’s the key ingredient. We’re all looking for it. It’s a cruel word in some ways. It implies that something could theoretically happen or be that is so far removed from your world that all you can do is dream about it. That is a little sad. Even so, I find that I come back to faith and hope. I need both of them, and I believe in them. Maybe it’s okay to dream and even believe in things we have no evidence of. Is my belief born from weakness? Yes, it is, but I think that’s all right. I have Faith that God will find a way to bless me one day. In time, maybe I’ll even find the right person to spend my life with. Who knows? I might even reach a place in my writing that I’m happy with one day. For now, I’ll only hope, though. That’s all any of us can do. I’ll sprinkle a few prayers in there too and know that tomorrow might be the day that everything changes.