Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Me

   Sometimes people ask me what I do when I’m not writing. That’s a difficult question to answer because the truth is not much, and what I do might be a little boring to most. I’m going to let everyone in on who I am as a human being instead of as a writer today, though.
   The first thing I do when I’m not writing is collect an enormous amount of music from iTunes. Yes, I know I’m not the only one who loves music, but I seriously wonder how much money I would have if I would just stop buying so much. The weird thing is that I listen to all types of music, so the habit is pretty expensive. I love everything from rock, pop, hip-hop, and Christian music. Alternative is also one of my favorites, and I don’t really connect with one era of music. Some people do, and they think everything past their generation’s music is somehow less than, but I appreciate the different eras. They’re constantly building on each other, and it’s great to see that progression.
   Secondly, I watch entirely too much Netflix and On Demand. I spend time watching Walking Dead, Psyche, Game of Thrones etc . . . I actually pull a lot of inspiration from television. When most people write, they’re inspired by other authors they’ve read in the past, but I love cinema and television a lot. For me, I want my books to feel like a movie to the reader. If they can’t picture it and they don’t love the characters, I don’t see the sense in even writing it.
   Third, I play video games. It’s one of the few things that makes my blood pressure naturally go down within minutes . . . not that I need it. My blood pressure has run low since I was a kid. Still, there is something about the escapism that games provide that I love about them. A book provides a story that captures you for a few hours, and a movie might run for two. Some games can last for hundreds of hours, though. It might not be the best form of storytelling, but it’s certainly the most involving, and I love them for it.
   Finally, there are my thoughts. I am constantly thinking. No, I’m serious. When I sleep, sometimes I remember thinking about book ideas and different things in my life. I don’t know if I’m dreaming about them or if I’ve developed some type of ability to think in my sleep. It was the same during college. I would remember going over material in my head when I woke up the morning before a big test. The problem is that my thoughts go in so many directions. Let me give you an example. Just a little while ago, I was plotting a military thriller, a tragic love story, a young adult book, and thinking about taking up jogging. There’s this new girl I’ve never seen before in my neighborhood who jogs every morning. Is she single? Will she be totally freaked out if I suddenly start jogging and only appear when she passes my house? (I would be.) Am I overthinking the whole thing? For that matter, when I finally start writing, is my next book going to accidently turn into a novel about a military man who takes up jogging after his wife dies? Meanwhile, a side story will involve his teenage son who finds love for the first time. At least that’s what’s going to happen if I can’t stop mixing my thoughts up.

   Okay, I went a little into left field there, but you get what I’m saying. If you want to know who I am, then simply know this. I’m a classic over thinker who loves to escape into stories of all kinds. Sometimes that can be done in the form of a song that takes me to a different time or a narrative that makes me forget I’ve sat on the couch staring at a screen for three hours. In short, I’m very simple. I don’t go out much, but I don’t really want to. I spend my days working, doing the things I love, and constantly learning new things. I take it all in, whether it’s a designed learning experience or it’s simply noticing the little details of others’ writing styles or the things people do. Basically, I let life come to me, which is something we’re encouraged not to do. We’re supposed to reach out and take what we want, but as strange as it sounds, I’m so much happier sitting back and truly taking in all the little things. A dinner in or watching a show with someone you love are so much better to me than anything else. I live in my own world, and that is very limited, but I get everything I can out of every experience I have. Right now, I’m happy creating new stories and being amazed at the creativity all around me. Most don’t see it, but it’s a shame. One song, book, movie, or game takes so much creativity to bring to life, and they’re all made for our entertainment. Even more amazing than that, look out your front door. The entire earth and everything on it was created. Everywhere you look, you can see so much life, but yet most of us keep searching for more and miss the greatest things about life. We need more friends, more money, and better status. For me, it’s the opposite. I need one friend, one other half, one house, one car, and a constant amazement for the things that God and people have created from nothingness. That’s why I do what I do, and it’s why I am exactly who I am today.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Our Final Defeat

   Death is inevitable for all of us. That has recently been brought to my attention by a death in the family. I won’t say who or bring up too many details because I know this particular person didn’t always like to be the center of attention. I would like to share something I learned from them, though. 
   Life is like a game that we’re constantly trying to stay alive in. Don’t eat that, don’t drink that, go to this doctor, take this many steps etc . . . these are the things we do to buy ourselves more time on this earth. Eventually, we are defeated, though. Death never loses. It sounds like a grim fact, but what I’m about to tell you now might be even grimmer. Did you know that most of us are defeated before we even die? It’s true. As we get older, we accept certain limitations. We can no longer work as much, play as hard, or learn as much as we used to. Many of us also use age as an excuse to grow grouchy or cold to those around us. We become a shell of what we were, and as the skin on our body wrinkles, so does our soul. The face that we barely recognize when we look in the mirror is only the tip of the iceberg because inside we’re no longer the same person either.
   You might ask why I’m telling you this. It’s simple. I want to point out that life defeats most of us long before death does. The person who passed on in our family wasn’t beaten by life, though. She still mowed her yard and did every active thing she used to do while being in her eighties. She was still as sharp as she ever was, and she didn’t have a bad word to say about anyone. Nothing about her had changed. Her skin had a few more wrinkles, but her soul was unchanged. I realized something when death finally took her out of this world. I want to be like that. I want to be able to accept that death will eventually beat me but know that life will always be a game I have control over. I don’t want age or a situation to make me half of what I was. I want to truly live, no matter what my age might be.

   Some people reading this might say that age naturally takes everything from you - that what I’m saying doesn’t make sense because it’s normal for a person to lose elements of themselves as age creeps up on them. I understand that point of view, but I knew someone who beat age and life at their own game. It’s not about being as strong or as sharp as you once were. It’s about believing that you still could be and carrying on with the strength, love, and desire for knowledge that you always had. It’s about a thirst for discovery and new things out of life until there is no more life left in you. That’s what living is really about. I would argue that so many people stop living years before death ever has the chance to take them. I challenge you and myself to be more like her. Try without excuses, take in everything around you, and love even when it seems impossible. If you can do that through all the good times and sorrow that life will throw at you, then you’ve won the ultimate battle we’re presented with on this earth. We’re all going to die. The only real question is if we’re going to decide to stop living before it’s our time. I know I’m not going to. How about you?

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Failure

   Okay, the title of this seems pretty negative. It’s not what you probably think, though. My whole life has consisted of ninety percent failure. Now, that sounds absolutely depressing, but it’s not. It’s also very true for most of us. We like to think things come naturally for us. We’re good spouses, boyfriend and girlfriends, writers, speakers, friends, or even just bowlers. God designed us that way. We’re just naturally good and bad at certain things. I find myself thinking that way sometimes. I pretend that I was always good at writing English papers, having a very active imagination, video games, and certain sports. The fact remains that I can remember when I sucked at all of those things, though. I can still remember at three years old failing to beat Super Mario Brothers again and again. It’s one of my earliest memories. I continued to play, though. I got better until I was what I called naturally great at video games. God had graced me with great hand-eye coordination, or so I thought.
   In high school, I hated writing English papers, and honestly, my stories and poetry left much to be desired. I couldn’t have gotten an A on a paper if someone else wrote 90% of it for me. I continued to write all types of things, though, and before I knew it, I couldn’t remember a time when I couldn’t spit out a paper or poem in my sleep.
   You might be asking what the point is. Well, here it is. We’re all born failures. That’s right. I said it. God or your DNA didn’t grant you any special abilities that anyone else doesn’t have. We all come into this world equal in almost every way. Here’s the thing, though. We don’t leave it that way. Our legacies tell the stories of who we were, and some hold much more appeal than other’s. Here’s the truth. God gave us an infinite number of possibilities. We can do anything with enough trial and error.
   Failure is viewed as the ultimate defeat. We hate it so much that we don’t even allow our kids to experience it anymore. When they come in fifth in their youth league, they still get the same trophy as the first place kids, and when we fail out of a class, we simply change majors and just say it wasn’t what we were meant for. We could never be that person. I’m here to tell you that you can be whatever person you want, no matter what that means. In failure, we find out exactly who we are. It might be the single greatest gift we have. Still don’t believe me? Really think about it. What was your first date or your first kiss like? Were you perfect at everything from the beginning, or did you have to learn the dance? How many times did you fall on your face and pick yourself back up until you learned everything you needed to know? That’s real strength, and it’s what drives us to the most important things we’ll ever accomplish. When we fail and a feeling of complete depression seeps its way into us, we have to make a choice. We can accept that defeat and never be what we set out to be, or we can let those feelings drive us to reach new heights.
   I’ll give you a good example. When I played football, I had a unique experience. There was a kid who outweighed everyone on our team by about a hundred pounds, and he was strong, too. Most were scared of him. I was at first. We used to do a drill called the board. It was simple. We had a long board, and two people would stand on each end of it. When the whistle was blown, you ran at each other and collided. The whistle wasn’t blown again until someone was pushed to the other end of the board or you were on the ground. I failed every day against that kid. Everyone did. No one ever beat him one time. I made it a personal goal to beat him, though, and I even started switching places with people in line so I would face him. I don’t think my coach knew that, and I’m pretty sure my teammates thought I was crazy, but I did it and failed every single day. I even broke my wrist going against that kid. I got better, though, and by the end of the year, I was giving him as much as he could handle. Ultimately, I failed, but the next year, my failure gave me so much. I went through a growth spurt, and I was already used to facing the best competition, so I was better than I used to be. I was the MVP that next year, and I think it was all because of my failures the year before. I wasn’t scared to lose every single day of my life in the pursuit of what others were scared of, and being defeated that much made me humble so even when I was successful, I still saw how far I had to go.
   I know what you’re thinking. What does a game have to do with life? A lot actually. We get hit in the mouth literally and metaphorically so much in our lives. Those hits can cause us to run away and seek another path, or we can start to enjoy it. It can forge us into something new and better. I’m writing this to encourage everyone to do something we’re told not to. Bite off more than you can chew. If you’re a young writer, take an idea that’s way above you at the moment and run with it. You’ll probably fail, but what you learn through that experience will make you so much better than you were before. If you’re a student, take a class that earns you a C instead of an easy A. You’ll be better off when you’re done. The purpose of work, school, sports, and even romance are much more complicated than we think of them. We think work is all about money, and school is just about a degree. The truth is that accomplishment and learning are a huge part of those, too. If you’re not driving yourself to accomplish and learn more, even if it comes with mistakes, then you’re being robbed of being forged into everything you could be. We think of sports as something for fun, but in fact, it can teach us discipline and perseverance, if we let it. Finally, we want romance because of the feelings it gives us, but at the end of the day, the most amazing thing about loving someone isn’t how they make you feel. It’s how you can make their life so much better than it was without you. Don’t you see? Any work, play, learning, or romance worth doing are going to come with so many failures before you figure out how to be a good enough you to shine in whatever you’re doing.
   I thank God for my failures. They are what’s allowed me to succeed, and I think if you’ll take a second to acknowledge it, you’ll realize that every failed project, relationship, and class landed you the best successes of your life. Without them, you wouldn’t know how to do anything.
   Thanks for reading my thoughts on failure. It’s not a popular view anymore in a world where we all want to be a winner, but it is one thing that all successful people have in common. We all fail dozens of times before we succeed. Keep getting back up. Even if it takes a dozen tries, you’ll get there, and you’ll wear every scar, mental or physical, like a badge of honor.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Future Projects And Finding My Way

   As the people who follow my blog already know, I’m working on three major projects right now. One is a romance novel called Destiny, another is the final Wrong Visions, and the last one is The Divide: Origins. You should be on the lookout for news about Destiny and Wrong Visions in the near future. I might even have a special preview for Destiny soon! That’s not what I really wanted to discuss today, though. I have a lot of concepts for things I want to do in the future. There are three in total. I’ll start with the first.
   I’ve been thinking about writing a traditional murder mystery novel. It would be in true detective style with none of the supernatural elements like in Strange Visions. I actually don’t like to read or watch mysteries, but I know a lot of people do, so it’s been weighing on my mind to actually challenge myself to write one. I have a concept in my mind that’s very thought out already. I don’t think this novel would be set in modern times. I can see it being set in a rural area in the 50’s or 60’s. I’ve always loved those eras, and it provides a certain challenge to write in a new genre and time.
   The second is a lot like Destiny. I didn’t think I would like writing a love story so much, but it was truly a joy. When I started writing this blog, I titled it Finding My Niche for a reason. I was trying to find my place as an author and as a person. Slice of life novels are definitely in my comfort zone. I feel completely at home in these types of worlds. I didn’t think I would, but I love it. I know I’m definitely going to return to this genre over and over again, even if it’s only for my own enjoyment. The project I have in mind will be in the same genre as Destiny, but it will also be much different. I can’t really tell you how because that would ruin parts of Destiny before it even comes out, but rest assured that this book is going to have a place close to my heart.
   The final project I’ve been considering isn’t even fiction. I’ve been toying around with the idea of writing a book about my faith. It won’t specifically be about me, but my perceptions of God and the Bible will be a theme in it. It would require me to read through the entire Bible and take many notes as I went. It would be a how to guide for young Christians in today’s world. I believe that the Bible has many lessons that can be applied to modern day people. That’s even true of people who aren’t Christians, and doing an in-depth study of the Bible and recording my findings in a novel that people can enjoy is definitely something I want to do before I give up the pen. I would also welcome any cooperation on this project from other authors or just fellow Christians. The profits can be split between anyone who chooses to participate. This one really wouldn’t be about money anyway.

   So that’s what I’m thinking. I can’t say for sure when I’ll start on each project. I’ve still got a lot to do on my other three. I’ve finished all three books, and the editing process on them is about two-thirds way done, but I’ve got covers, promotion, and everything else that’s involved. It’s going to be a while, but I’m looking forward to the future. Who knows where it will take me. I’m still finding my niche, but with every day, I get a little closer!