Christmas

   Today I want to talk about Christmas. In my family, we’ve always had certain traditions that we followed. I’ve gotten so used to them that it was just a forgone conclusion that it would always be that way. Even the best-kept traditions end, though. This year, my mother has to work on Christmas Eve night/morning. As a new nurse, there’s no way to avoid it either. Our tradition of opening one gift on Christmas Eve night will be gone. Our late night sweets won’t be shared at home together. She won’t be present for my grandmother’s celebration on Christmas Eve, and no gifts will be opened in the early morning. Our morning breakfast with my grandparents will turn into eggs at a time closer to lunch. It seems like it sucks. Everything is changing. Well, everything except for one fact.

   Our traditions existed for only one purpose - so we could all be together and experience the magic of Christmas. That tradition will not change this year. I’m staying up all night on December 23^rd and going to sleep in the early morning. I won’t wake up until about 3 in the afternoon on Christmas Eve. Shortly after that, my dad and I will visit my grandmother where we’ll exchange gifts and visit. Afterward, we’re going to see The Hobbit. A movie theater on Christmas Eve might not seem like a great thing, but it’s a way to enjoy our night and pass the time. After that, we’re going to head to the hospital where my mom will be working. We’ll bring treats for the nurses and be together for a brief moment as Christmas Eve turns into Christmas morning. Then we’ll go home and await the time when we can all be together again. When she comes in, we’ll exchange gifts and have a late breakfast with my grandparents where nothing will have changed except for the time. We’ll make it all work, and it won’t be because we have to. It would be easy to say Christmas is cancelled this year, but it’s not something we want to do. That’s what I’ve learned about the holidays. There are two types of people. There are those of us who love our extra time with our family and friends and enjoy the traditions that have been forged over years of relationships. Then there are those of us who dread doing the same thing every year. I’ll admit that I’ve been one of those people who dread the Christmas season. It’s usually filled with the same predictable traditions every year, and we have to act like we’re happy, even if we aren’t. Honestly, I wasn’t feeling the Christmas spirit until recently. It’s the realization of what Christmas means to me that has made me look forward to keeping the most important tradition of all alive. I’m going to be with my family this Christmas. It won’t be at the same times, and things will be drastically altered, but the people I love will be there to celebrate everything we have together.

   When I started writing this, I thought about what Christmas meant to me. I had a lot of things in mind. One was the birth of our Savior, and another involved the incredible gifts I seem to get every year, but I dug a little deeper. I should celebrate Jesus’s birth every day I can, and gifts are only as good as the person who gives them. What Christmas really means to me is time with a family that I’m not as thankful for as I should be the other 364 days of the year. It’s the one day I can take a step back and find peace in everything I have instead of wanting more. It’s strange. I think it’s the opposite for most people. After all, this holiday has become more about gift giving than anything, but it’s the one day every year where I feel like asking for anything more would be selfish. During this Christmas season, I want everyone to think about their traditions and really examine why they are so important. Is it all about the time and the place, or is it more about the people you spend it with? For me, I’m usually pretty worn down by the time Christmas rolls around. It always feels like the mental toll of what the year has brought for me has completely beaten me down, and I’m just ready for the New Year to start fresh. That one night reminds me of everything I have gained and always had. I have everything I need. No men in red suits and no candle lighting . . . just the people I love celebrating life in the way we should every single day.

Time Passed

   I’m writing this at 4:30 in the morning. I need to be asleep because I’ve got a lot of things to do tomorrow, but I’ve been thinking about some stuff. I have all of these really great memories and fun stories to tell people, but they’re further away than I realized until recently. Drunken nights, fights, spontaneous romantic feelings, long talks about the people we’re going to become, and days playing the guitar poorly with my best friends have gone by in a haze. My story about singing and falling off of a pool table happened a decade ago. It’s hard to believe that. My first love was nine long years ago, and a lot of time has passed since I completely lost any shot with her. Stories of me and my friends sneaking into luxury boxes in Memphis, hanging out with Theory of a Dead Man, or meeting Avenged Sevenfold are long over. In fact, most of those things happened before I was even 21.

   I think that after I turned 21 I started approaching life differently. I didn’t want to drink anymore, and I didn’t feel the need for more crazy nights that I could laugh about later. I didn’t want spontaneous love that couldn’t last either. I wanted the real thing. I felt like I needed “the girl” and “the best friend.” No one outside of those imagined people mattered anymore. Here’s the thing, though. I miss that guy who only hung out with me because we both liked tequila a little too much, and I miss that girl who was only out with me because neither of us had anything better to do. Most of all, I think I miss being unpredictable. I miss not knowing what was going to happen every day of my life. Security is a thing that we all think we want. We want to know what’s around the bend and what people will be by our side for it. When you have that, though, it’s really odd. You miss life just happening to you. Maybe that sounds weird. You’re probably thinking how can life do anything but happen to you? It’s not like you can predict everything that’s going to happen. Here’s the thing. If you plan too much for what type of person “the girl” has to be, what type of friends you want, what your career needs to look like each year, and what life path you’re going to take in every year of your life, then everything about your life becomes suddenly secure and predictable. It also becomes a little dull, though, so here’s what I’m proposing for myself. Over the last two years, I made goals each year. The first year, I made a goal to release at least 6 books. I succeeded and found a new career. The second year, I decided that it was time I had a house of my own. I have that, and I love it. At the end of this year, though, I’m not making a goal. I would normally say that the next step in my development was for me to find the right woman to share my life with, but I don’t want her to be just another box that I check. I don’t want her to have to live up to what I picture in my head either. The people in our lives aren’t any more perfect than we are. At some point, I think I started trying to be too perfect. I stopped doing immature things, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, but in the process, I think I lost fun Mitch. I miss that guy, and I want him back. I’m going to keep my morals close and my faith even closer as I go through life, but I’m also making a conscious choice to loosen up a bit. If I can’t hold myself to an impossibly high standard anymore, then I don’t think I should hold others to it either. Come whatever may is my new outlook. I want new friends, and I want to date without any intentions of anything going past that date. I think that’s the best way to live life. Let the girl of your dreams surprise you one day, but don’t stop enjoying life while you’re waiting. Whether you’re enjoying a one time date, watching the game with friends, getting to know someone’s most inner feelings, or simply enjoying a bottle of tequila with someone who doesn’t want to be anywhere else, savor it. We only get an opportunity to be with so many people in this world, so make every interaction, whether meaningless or with great purpose, something that you could smile and tell a story about. Be the person who laughs, cries, and fights for those who choose to spend their time with you, and realize that even the superficial relationships in your life have purpose. We’re not alive to always overthink every moment, and those relationships that don’t have a future or that simply consist of two people with nothing better to do are there to give us a smile and some amazing stories. Here’s to not getting married and to being less stable to the outside world but more at peace within than you could ever hope to be. I’m not perfect, and I’m not going to find the perfect life. I’m okay with that now, though. Perfection can get pretty boring. For now, I think I’m just happy being a man who never has clean socks, hangs out with some questionable but good hearted characters, and doesn’t wait for “the one” to show up out of nowhere. I’ll be much too busy living the way we’re meant to. We’re not meant to worry our lives away, and my worry stops here. I’m going back to being me, and whatever the future holds . . . I guess I’ll just find out. :)