Once Saved . . .

Today I want to talk about something that has nothing to do with my normal subjects. It’s something that’s been on my mind for a while, and I hope you’ll read this through with an open mind. I’m not writing this to anger anyone or to challenge deep-rooted religious beliefs, but I feel the need to share a few thoughts and fears about my relationship with God, so here goes.

From the time I was a little boy, I’ve heard people say the phrase, once saved, always saved. They’re referring to salvation through Jesus Christ. While I believe that Jesus can save you, I’m beginning to think it’s not as simple as the ministers of today would like us to believe. Can we really say a prayer and believe something with all of our hearts and that commitment mean something forever? What if we change? What if we turn against God, and don’t say no one could after they became a Christian. Many people have been devout Christians and years later become the worst of us who were so far away from anything good that they couldn’t see God, much less believe in Him. No one can pluck you from God’s hand, but can you walk out of it willingly? I’m beginning to think so. Let me show you a few verses that have made me believe this.

“Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven." Matthew 7:21.

"And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved." Matthew 10:22.

"...be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life." Revelation 2:10.

"And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God." Luke 9:62.

This last verse is very telling to me. Once we begin our work for God, what happens when we look back at our old way of life - sinfulness - and miss it? What happens when we not only look back but start taking steps away from God? Can we walk away from Him, and if we do, will He hear our call on the day of judgment? I don’t know anymore. The way to Heaven is very narrow, and the way to Hell is wide. That implies that only a few will get into Heaven. How many of us pray for salvation and truly mean it at some point in our lives? How many even do God’s work only to burn out and never return to our Father? Are we saved, or have we looked forgiveness and mercy in the Face and chosen to walk away?

Don’t take this the wrong way. I’m not sitting here saying you’re going to Hell or even that your beliefs are wrong. I’m just saying that sometimes I fear for myself and everyone I love. I don’t see many warriors for God, and I’m certainly not one if I’m being honest. I’ve only met a couple of preachers in my life that seemed to be on fire for the Lord. It’s become my belief from study and something that has been placed on my heart for a long time that words, church attendance, and money aren’t enough to get us into Heaven. We don’t have to be perfect, attend church, or even use our voices to spread God’s word, but we must use whatever strengths we have to serve God. It can’t be because we think we can buy our way into Heaven with good deeds. Instead, it has to be because we are so on fire for God that it’s second nature. It’s not really work. It’s what we must do. We must know our God on a personal level and have a relationship with Him that’s give and take. We can’t just take the gift of salvation with a few words and then go right back to the creatures we used to be. We must be new, and it’s not His responsibility to keep us in His hand. He won’t let any demon, angel, or person take you from Him, but He will let you walk away because since Adam and Eve, He’s held no prisoners. Just like He let them freely make the wrong decision and walk away from His grace, He will let you walk straight to Hell. I need to be better, and I worry because I’m not. I worry because in my heart I want things that are wicked. Most people don’t know that about me. Most think I’m this goody two-shoe person, but the truth is the opposite, and I’m so mired in it that I fear I may never be able to crawl out. Are you? Even worse, are you hiding behind the same statement that so many of us do - once saved, always saved. I fear that if we have to hide behind that statement that our relationship with God might be in the dumps, and we might be as lost as we were when we started. I don’t have answers, and I wish I could see the world as so many do. I wish we could all say a prayer, go to church, and go on a couple of church retreats and that would completely block out all of the actions, thoughts, and beliefs over the coming decades, but I fear it’s never been that easy. The only real solution has always been true and unwavering change. Much like you can sever the bond in a marriage by walking away from the person God sees you as one with, I’m starting to think you can sever the bond you have with God if that’s truly what you desire. The good news is that it’s never too late to catch fire again. Don’t do it for Heaven or to feel good about who you are. Those reasons aren’t sustainable, and I think they might not even be good enough from the start. Be close to Him because you desire that relationship more than any other. Only after you can put God before every person, sin, and little desire you keep tucked away can you be saved. That doesn’t mean you must be perfect. It just means that your fire for Him must be more important than all the background noise. We often pretend God is the most important one in our lives, but how often do we put a person or thing before Him? How often do we do something wrong not by accident, but out of spite and anger? How much do you find yourself blaming God for your own mistakes? I question Him quite often, and I know I don’t have the right to. I’m certainly imperfect, but that’s not what bothers me. I truly fear that desire and anger outweigh the Light in me. I fear that they outweigh the Light in almost everyone I know. We must change. No, that doesn’t mean we have to become saints. Most of the people in the Bible weren’t even close to being perfect even after they started following Jesus. It’s oftentimes not about what you don’t do, but about what you do. We think if we don’t sin we’re good, but I know in my heart it’s much more complicated than that. What you have with God is a relationship like any other. For the women reading this, let me ask you something. What man would you rather be with out of these two?

Man A. This man never curses at you, argues with you, or misunderstands you. He doesn’t talk to you, show you love, give you gifts, or even notice you, though.

Man B. Occasionally, he argues with you. Every once in a while, he might even get mad enough to curse at you. On his worst days, he lies to you in order to avoid a fight. He also brings you flowers, tells you how beautiful you are, supports your passions, and loves you with all he has to give.

Much like you probably want the imperfect man, so does God. God loves men and women of action. The Pharisees were men who had great knowledge of the Bible and who believed themselves to be morally superior, but they weren’t men of action. Jesus didn’t look too kindly on them. Knowledge and self-control are great things, but without an action and a hunger to be close to the God you love they mean absolutely nothing. Knowledge, words, and even refraining from sinning won’t get you into Heaven alone. Despite what the church teaches today, it requires action, faith, and your love, too. Start today. God doesn’t expect you to catch fire overnight because no relationship ever does. It starts with one step. Maybe you witness to someone or simply show a stranger kindness. Maybe you just sit and talk to your Father. Remember not to do all the talking, though. You might not get an answer directly from God when you talk to Him, but I find that through prayer, reading, and research I always find something new. Listen to Him, His words, and anyone who can help you understand Him more. Then spread all the knowledge you have while showing God’s love through your actions. It isn’t easy, but after all, it’s work. We’re doing God’s work. Somewhere along the way, it stopped being called work, though, and started being a get out of jail free card by the name of once saved, always saved. Don’t buy into that. Put in the work, the love, and give yourself to Someone greater. That’s what I believe is required for His grace, and I’m starting again today. I’ll be better a little more every day, and someday I might just be able to stop and see how far I’ve come without missing that wickedness in me that has held me down for so long.

Blah

It’s been a while since I wrote a blog, so I want to start by telling everyone what’s been going on with me. I haven’t written for so long because I’ve been busy and a bit overwhelmed with a lot of other things. I’ve been working very diligently to get a new book out along with writing a lot of new material that has proved to be extremely challenging. That’s not really what has bogged me down, though. My mind isn’t working as sharp as it once was, and I don’t feel motivated. No, I’m not talking about to write new books. I’m talking about the everyday life part. I don’t go out, I haven’t made a new friend in months, and I feel like I’m in desperate need of a change. I don’t want to turn into a shut-in, but there’s a problem. I don’t know what to do about it. Now, I know what you’re thinking. This isn’t your problem. Why would I think you wanted to know it? The truth is you might not, but this is me reintroducing myself to everyone. I’m a little less sure of myself on a lot of levels right now, but I’m still fighting through a mountain of problems and things that should have left me in a puddle of depression. Maybe sometimes all we can do is keep moving into what seems like the dark of night until we find the sun, or at least that’s my plan. I’m going to keep moving forward, and I have a few things I think might help me along the way.

The first is that I want to eat better, and no, not to lose weight. I’ve just noticed that junk food, while tasty, leaves me feeling sluggish the next day. Even worse, most junk food doesn’t agree with a person with ulcers. I think making some changes in my diet might make me see the world in a whole new way because I’ll feel good.

Secondly, I want to write out of my comfort zone for a while. As a writer, you can get bogged down in the same kind of stories until it becomes second nature to such a degree that you feel like you could write the stories in your sleep. At first, it’s an extraordinary feeling to be able to write your story as quickly as you can type, but after a while, you want something that actually makes you slow down and think. I want that challenge again, and I think I can find it by exploring what might be some out there ideas for me, but then again, they could end up being the best things I’ve written.

Third, I want to find a way to get out of my house more. I know. It’s as easy as getting into your car, but you have to be in my shoes to understand. There aren’t exactly a lot of things to do where I live. You can go to Wal-Mart, the movies, or you can head up to Memphis and hit the bars. Now, if junk food doesn’t go well with a person who has ulcers, then imagine how alcohol does. I feel a little stuck in place in that area, and I’m not quite sure how I’m going to fix things, but I know I have to.

Finally, I want to restore my relationship with God. No, I didn’t stop believing at any point, but I kind of took some time off from really feeling anything to do with God. It became head knowledge, and over the last couple of months, I learned even more about the Bible and the many misinterpretations about God, but it was all just knowledge. It was like knowing everything about your spouse but not feeling anything at all about them. I don’t want studying God to be like studying a math book anymore. I want a real relationship with ups and downs but never a state of blah. I hate blah.

Well, that’s my plan, and this is my first blog of 2016. It’s hard to believe it’s been so long since I started this blog. Since the beginning, I’ve written 21 books, bought a house, lost irreplaceable people, and discovered exactly how capable I really am. I’ve been in some deep holes, and I’ve dug my way out every time. I think I can do it again. Thanks for reading as always. My next blog should have some information about my newest project and an indication of when you can start reading it. I can’t wait to share it with you. In a way, that’s what these books and this blog are all about - sharing. There are little pieces of me scattered on every page of those books and of these words. My readers have helped me grow in confidence and as a person through all the failures and successes that have come with these last 3 years. Thank you.