Christmas

   Today I want to talk about Christmas. In my family, we’ve always had certain traditions that we followed. I’ve gotten so used to them that it was just a forgone conclusion that it would always be that way. Even the best-kept traditions end, though. This year, my mother has to work on Christmas Eve night/morning. As a new nurse, there’s no way to avoid it either. Our tradition of opening one gift on Christmas Eve night will be gone. Our late night sweets won’t be shared at home together. She won’t be present for my grandmother’s celebration on Christmas Eve, and no gifts will be opened in the early morning. Our morning breakfast with my grandparents will turn into eggs at a time closer to lunch. It seems like it sucks. Everything is changing. Well, everything except for one fact.

   Our traditions existed for only one purpose - so we could all be together and experience the magic of Christmas. That tradition will not change this year. I’m staying up all night on December 23^rd and going to sleep in the early morning. I won’t wake up until about 3 in the afternoon on Christmas Eve. Shortly after that, my dad and I will visit my grandmother where we’ll exchange gifts and visit. Afterward, we’re going to see The Hobbit. A movie theater on Christmas Eve might not seem like a great thing, but it’s a way to enjoy our night and pass the time. After that, we’re going to head to the hospital where my mom will be working. We’ll bring treats for the nurses and be together for a brief moment as Christmas Eve turns into Christmas morning. Then we’ll go home and await the time when we can all be together again. When she comes in, we’ll exchange gifts and have a late breakfast with my grandparents where nothing will have changed except for the time. We’ll make it all work, and it won’t be because we have to. It would be easy to say Christmas is cancelled this year, but it’s not something we want to do. That’s what I’ve learned about the holidays. There are two types of people. There are those of us who love our extra time with our family and friends and enjoy the traditions that have been forged over years of relationships. Then there are those of us who dread doing the same thing every year. I’ll admit that I’ve been one of those people who dread the Christmas season. It’s usually filled with the same predictable traditions every year, and we have to act like we’re happy, even if we aren’t. Honestly, I wasn’t feeling the Christmas spirit until recently. It’s the realization of what Christmas means to me that has made me look forward to keeping the most important tradition of all alive. I’m going to be with my family this Christmas. It won’t be at the same times, and things will be drastically altered, but the people I love will be there to celebrate everything we have together.

   When I started writing this, I thought about what Christmas meant to me. I had a lot of things in mind. One was the birth of our Savior, and another involved the incredible gifts I seem to get every year, but I dug a little deeper. I should celebrate Jesus’s birth every day I can, and gifts are only as good as the person who gives them. What Christmas really means to me is time with a family that I’m not as thankful for as I should be the other 364 days of the year. It’s the one day I can take a step back and find peace in everything I have instead of wanting more. It’s strange. I think it’s the opposite for most people. After all, this holiday has become more about gift giving than anything, but it’s the one day every year where I feel like asking for anything more would be selfish. During this Christmas season, I want everyone to think about their traditions and really examine why they are so important. Is it all about the time and the place, or is it more about the people you spend it with? For me, I’m usually pretty worn down by the time Christmas rolls around. It always feels like the mental toll of what the year has brought for me has completely beaten me down, and I’m just ready for the New Year to start fresh. That one night reminds me of everything I have gained and always had. I have everything I need. No men in red suits and no candle lighting . . . just the people I love celebrating life in the way we should every single day.

Time Passed

   I’m writing this at 4:30 in the morning. I need to be asleep because I’ve got a lot of things to do tomorrow, but I’ve been thinking about some stuff. I have all of these really great memories and fun stories to tell people, but they’re further away than I realized until recently. Drunken nights, fights, spontaneous romantic feelings, long talks about the people we’re going to become, and days playing the guitar poorly with my best friends have gone by in a haze. My story about singing and falling off of a pool table happened a decade ago. It’s hard to believe that. My first love was nine long years ago, and a lot of time has passed since I completely lost any shot with her. Stories of me and my friends sneaking into luxury boxes in Memphis, hanging out with Theory of a Dead Man, or meeting Avenged Sevenfold are long over. In fact, most of those things happened before I was even 21.

   I think that after I turned 21 I started approaching life differently. I didn’t want to drink anymore, and I didn’t feel the need for more crazy nights that I could laugh about later. I didn’t want spontaneous love that couldn’t last either. I wanted the real thing. I felt like I needed “the girl” and “the best friend.” No one outside of those imagined people mattered anymore. Here’s the thing, though. I miss that guy who only hung out with me because we both liked tequila a little too much, and I miss that girl who was only out with me because neither of us had anything better to do. Most of all, I think I miss being unpredictable. I miss not knowing what was going to happen every day of my life. Security is a thing that we all think we want. We want to know what’s around the bend and what people will be by our side for it. When you have that, though, it’s really odd. You miss life just happening to you. Maybe that sounds weird. You’re probably thinking how can life do anything but happen to you? It’s not like you can predict everything that’s going to happen. Here’s the thing. If you plan too much for what type of person “the girl” has to be, what type of friends you want, what your career needs to look like each year, and what life path you’re going to take in every year of your life, then everything about your life becomes suddenly secure and predictable. It also becomes a little dull, though, so here’s what I’m proposing for myself. Over the last two years, I made goals each year. The first year, I made a goal to release at least 6 books. I succeeded and found a new career. The second year, I decided that it was time I had a house of my own. I have that, and I love it. At the end of this year, though, I’m not making a goal. I would normally say that the next step in my development was for me to find the right woman to share my life with, but I don’t want her to be just another box that I check. I don’t want her to have to live up to what I picture in my head either. The people in our lives aren’t any more perfect than we are. At some point, I think I started trying to be too perfect. I stopped doing immature things, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, but in the process, I think I lost fun Mitch. I miss that guy, and I want him back. I’m going to keep my morals close and my faith even closer as I go through life, but I’m also making a conscious choice to loosen up a bit. If I can’t hold myself to an impossibly high standard anymore, then I don’t think I should hold others to it either. Come whatever may is my new outlook. I want new friends, and I want to date without any intentions of anything going past that date. I think that’s the best way to live life. Let the girl of your dreams surprise you one day, but don’t stop enjoying life while you’re waiting. Whether you’re enjoying a one time date, watching the game with friends, getting to know someone’s most inner feelings, or simply enjoying a bottle of tequila with someone who doesn’t want to be anywhere else, savor it. We only get an opportunity to be with so many people in this world, so make every interaction, whether meaningless or with great purpose, something that you could smile and tell a story about. Be the person who laughs, cries, and fights for those who choose to spend their time with you, and realize that even the superficial relationships in your life have purpose. We’re not alive to always overthink every moment, and those relationships that don’t have a future or that simply consist of two people with nothing better to do are there to give us a smile and some amazing stories. Here’s to not getting married and to being less stable to the outside world but more at peace within than you could ever hope to be. I’m not perfect, and I’m not going to find the perfect life. I’m okay with that now, though. Perfection can get pretty boring. For now, I think I’m just happy being a man who never has clean socks, hangs out with some questionable but good hearted characters, and doesn’t wait for “the one” to show up out of nowhere. I’ll be much too busy living the way we’re meant to. We’re not meant to worry our lives away, and my worry stops here. I’m going back to being me, and whatever the future holds . . . I guess I’ll just find out. :)

Thanksgiving

As I’m sure you know, Thanksgiving is coming up, so I thought I would tell all of you what that day means to me. It can often be overshadowed by Christmas and Black Friday, but I believe it has a meaning as important as any holiday.

Thanksgiving is about exactly what it sounds like. We’re supposed to be thankful for what we have in our lives. Sure, we all get together and eat, and our children are told stories about the pilgrims and Indians, but why do we get together with our family and friends on this day? Is it simply to commemorate an anniversary to a feast, or is it about more than that? I believe it’s about spending the day with those we’re thankful for, and the food and drink that we share is just a reason to get everyone together. It’s a shame it takes a feast to get everyone together, but in the hustle and bustle of life, we can often forget what’s truly important. So without further ado, I want to tell all of you what I’m most thankful for.

   The first people I couldn’t live without are my family members. It might seem odd to most, but I’ve never felt the need to have an overbearing amount of friends. As a matter of fact, I spend a lot of my time being what most would consider without friends. I don’t see it that way, though. My family has always consisted of people who I would be proud to know, even if we weren’t related. You see, my family are the only friends I’ve ever truly needed. My parents were very young when they had me, and instead of feeling like I was raised by them, I often felt more like I grew up beside them. My grandparents have always been a source of fun and inspiration, too. Most people talk about their family teaching them life lessons, and all of them have certainly done that, but there’s more to my relationship with these people. They’re the type of people I can call up to go to a movie, go to a football game, or just come over to lounge around on a day that’s been way too hard. They’re the best friends anyone could ever ask for. I’ve also found friends in cousins, aunts and uncles, and many more who have given me everything I needed from the start. You see, I’ve never had to search for much in my life. I had a near perfect family and friends from the start. Sure, not everything was always perfect, but we’ve all grown together into something that’s more perfect than I think we realize until we actually stop to reflect on it.

    Here’s the condensed version of what I’m thankful for. I’m thankful that I’ve never had to worry about love, money, or companionship. I’ve never been the most popular person in the room, and I’m certainly not rich, but I’ve always had more than I need.

   On your Thanksgiving, I want you to see passed the turkey or a day of materialism. I even want you to look past a man in a red suit. Instead, I want you to tell the people in your life how thankful you are for them. Maybe not everyone in your life is good to you, and maybe you don’t always have enough, but if you search, I’m sure you’ll find someone who would do their best to give you whatever you needed in life. You’ll find that person who is home for you. Truly treasure them on a day that’s all about blessings. I know I’m going to.

The Unseen Series

   I want to update everyone on where I am with The Unseen series. I have, of course, finished with the second book that will be released very soon. It’s very action packed, and I think it takes the characters to a lot of places that I’ve always wanted to see. If you’ve been following what I do, you already know all of that, though. Here’s what you didn’t know. I just finished writing the third and final Unseen book. It’s not edited, and a lot will probably change about it before it’s released, but the bare bones book is finished. It has a definite ending that even surprised me. I had an ending picked out when I started writing the last book, but my characters had other ideas. I have to say that this new ending is a complete improvement over what I had originally wanted to do. It leaves the series in a way that I believe will tie up all loose ends and satisfy fans of the series.

   Now, I want to tell everyone what this series has meant to me. There is a lot of death throughout the series, and I purposely made it more action filled than past series that I’ve done. I wanted central themes of loss, lies, and death to be in the books. It’s not that I wanted the series to be depressing, but I feel that’s often how life works. I don’t mean to seem like I’m attaching too much symbolism to the series, but in my life, I’ve found that I always have to go through a lot of dark periods to see the sun again, and sometimes we never get to find a way out of the dark. That’s what I wanted to show in these books. I didn’t want Drew and Lindsey’s relationship to be the picture of perfection, and I didn’t want everyone’s story to end with a happily ever after because that’s not how life works. Life is hard, and relationships are complicated. I think that by the end of the series I identified with Drew and Lindsey as much as I did with my past characters, and that says something, considering that at least two of my past characters were based off parts of myself. I don’t want to give up too much about the next books, but I will say this. You guys are in for a rollercoaster of action, romance, death, secrets, and hope in the face of impossible odds. I can’t wait to share it with all of you. I enjoyed every minute of the ride with Drew and Lindsey.

   I suppose you might be wondering when the next Unseen will be coming out and when you can expect the third and final one. Here’s the easy answer to that. I plan to release The Unseen: Shadow Wars in mid to late December, but I’m making some last minute edits now, and depending on how smoothly things go, I might have to push things back to early January. I think I can have it out, though. I’m just trying to be cautious. I want this second book to be the best it can be. It serves as a great bridge between the first and third books. Don’t let that word fool you, though. It may be a bridge between the two books, but it’s the most action filled book of the three. I think it’s a bridge worth crossing for any lover of action or romance. As for the third book, which I haven’t given a definite title to yet, it will be released sometime next year. I haven’t decided when yet, but if I had to guess, I would probably say very early in March. I want to give everyone time to check out the second one before I release another, and more than that, I want to take a lot of time and make it the best ending to this series that is possible.

   I want to say one thing about the future before I go. When The Unseen is over, I’m going to be releasing something that’s far different. I have been working on a murder mystery novel that I think people will love, but I’m going to put releasing it on hold for a while. I started in the spy genre and then went to a young adult murder mystery series. After that, I wrote a sci-fi novel that got me out of my comfort zone. It turned out to be one of the best things I ever did. It made me realize how possible it was for me to expand my categories in writing. I don’t have to write in one genre or be pinned down by the expected. I can continue to try new things, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do down the line. I’m going to write a single book that doesn’t involve spies, detectives, psychics, or disasters. It’s just going to be about every day people and the lives they lead. The central theme will be relationships. It’ll have a lot of comedy and romance. I think it’s time to write something out of my comfort zone and hopefully find that I love writing slice of life stories as much as any others that I’ve written.

    Thanks for reading, everyone. I can’t wait to see how people react to the last two Unseen books. Next year should be interesting, too. I’ll be releasing a book in a new genre for me, writing a murder mystery book from a unique perspective, and releasing the final volume of Wrong Visions. I can’t wait to share it all with you. It’s strange. Every time I write the last words in a series, I feel sad because it’s like leaving some old friends behind. Still, I get to move on to new characters and challenges every time. I’m proud of where this series went to, and I can’t wait to show everyone what else I can do!

Living In Your World

   I wanted to share something with my readers today. It’s something we all know but make no effort to actually do. Live within your world. What does that actually mean? Some think it means to be happy with what you have - to be content. I completely disagree with that belief, but I do think there is something to be said for not daydreaming about what is, and always will be, out of your reach. Let me explain a little.

   As human beings, we always strive for more. We want a better car, a better house, a better relationship, and better friends. That’s all wonderful, but what happens when your dreams drift outside of reality? What happens when we want respect that we haven’t earned, a relationship to be great when we’ve done nothing to make it that way, and friendships to fall into our lap? What happens when we want it all and we don’t want to do anything to get it? That’s the state most of us are in. We want something. We can see it in our mind’s eye, but we can’t have it. I know I do at times. I want a million dollars, the perfect woman, better friends, and even deep respect from certain people. Here’s the thing, though, I write. A million dollars might come one day, but it’s not very likely. The perfect woman will never exist. What I need to be looking for is the perfect person for me, not someone I’ve cooked up in my head. Who knows? Maybe they’ve always been right in front of me, but my head has been too far up in the clouds to see what’s there. I need better and closer friendships, but I haven’t done a thing to find those friendships. I do the lazy thing and explore the same old options. I want respect, but I don’t bother demanding it. Don’t you see? I want it all, but I only seem to want it on my terms. I want it in some other space where it all comes so much easier. That’s not the space I live in, though. I live in a space where things are hard. To get to where I want to be, I have to write more, gain skills, search for what I need instead of what I want, be social despite my instinct not to be, and maybe most importantly, demand the respect that I know I deserve. It’s not easy. God knows that I’ve earned everything I have so far, and everything I ever get will be hard, but it is what I want. There’s something that a wise person once told me. You can only live within your own space. Look three feet in front of you. That’s what you can change. You can’t change other people, and you can’t immediately change your location or situation. You just have to take a metaphorical hold of whatever is three foot in front of you and start climbing to where you want to go. It’s that simple. I write books for a living, so it’s my job to dream up fictional situations, but it’s something that I need to stop doing in my everyday life. I can’t keep dreaming of what could be somewhere else or with someone else. I find myself doing this often, and it’s unhealthy. I’m not saying I shouldn’t dream or expect more. What I’m saying is that I should dream of a better reality and find ways to make it so within my three foot radius. I should write better, demand respect of those within my space, and find people to put within that space who are worth being around. There is something to find, and I’m sure that it’s close by. I won’t find it in my dreams, though. I’ll find it by slowly but surely climbing up to it one day at a time. That’s what I wish for all of you. Stop dreaming of things beyond your control and stop wishing that those within your space were someone else entirely. Instead, focus on what is right in front of you and who could be the perfect people to stand beside you in that space.