Friday, July 25, 2014

Sports and Life

   It’s no secret that I love many sports. I can’t get enough of the NFL or the NBA. I love playing sports, too. I hate that we reach an age where there really are no organized leagues for us to play in. That might sound odd. We’re supposed to put childish things away as we get older. We’re not supposed to want to keep catching passes or grabbing rebounds, but a large part of me does. I guess it’s because of what organized sports mean to me. We glorify sports stars for a lot of things, but losing isn’t one of them. Sometimes that’s unfortunate because sports taught me exactly how to live life. It wasn’t through a trophy or some type of unending will. It didn’t even involve giving me confidence. It involved a loss that was truly crushing.
   In life, we all have a clock that’s ticking. We don’t know when it’s going to run out, but eventually, it will. We’re mortal, and we don’t like to think about it. When I was thirteen, I remember facing a clock that meant a lot to me but seemed to mean little to anyone else. A youth league football team that I was playing on was sitting on the sideline in utter defeat as we faced a 30-0 deficit at halftime. It was hopeless. The guys we were against were bigger, faster, and just plain better in every way you can think of. We were defeated, and there was nothing we could do about it. Our coach asked us if we wanted to quit. We discussed it. Many were ready to go home. In a rare moment, I was outspoken. I’m not comfortable talking in large crowds, but I told the guys we just had to believe that something could change. I was met by sarcasm and even laughter. They had made their decision, or at least a few of them had. Unfortunately, the loudest people are usually the rudest. At least we still had enough people willing to play, though, because we didn’t forfeit. 
   As we took the field, I made a decision. I wasn’t going to watch the clock, and for every single moment that I had left on the field, I was going to give everything I had. It didn’t matter how everything ended. This was a game I loved, and why wouldn’t I give everything I had to it? I had a meager 4 tackles and no other stats going into that half. I ended the game with 18 tackles, 2 sacks, and a fumble recovery. I also made a block that I thought was key. Some of our other players seemed to step up, too, especially our quarterback. To make a long story short, we lost 30-14. It was unwinnable at that point, but we beat them for a half. More than that, I think that was a defining moment for every kid there. We learned who we were and who we should be. I could keep talking about sports here, but I’m not going to. This story wasn’t about football. It was about the fact that there’s a clock ticking for every one of us. None of us get out of this life alive. No matter how hard we try, we’re going to lose the fight one day, but should that give you a reason to check out early? Should it even give you a reason to let fear petrify you? It would have been easy for a thirteen year old me to be scared of people who obviously were stronger and faster than me, but I wasn’t. I fought until there was no more time left. At the ultimate end of our season, my biggest memories weren’t about our defeats either. They were about the good relationships I formed, the triumphs, and the obstacles that I had to fight to overcome regardless of whether I was successful. Don’t let life’s obstacles and ultimate defeat keep you from forming those relationships. There will be naysayers, and there will be people who knock you down over and over again. You will lose, and all of it will mean nothing one day, but for one tiny moment, every decision you make matters. The decision to fight or love can change a moment, and it can even change a lifetime. In the course of history, our existence is nothing more than a speck of dust, but it’s our speck. It’s ours to choose to fight for or to passively watch as it goes by.

   I learned something about myself way back then. I’m an excellent loser. I give it all, and sometimes that’s not good enough for some people. Your parents and coaches preach good sportsmanship and working together as a team to win. Rarely do they tell you that the game you love so much is the perfect metaphor for life. You will triumph, and you will have your days where everything seems to go your way, but no matter how good you are, someone will knock you off of your perch. You’ll have to pick yourself up over and over again just to go back into situations that are unpredictable and sometimes even scary. Then one day it’ll all be over. What you do in those moments where you see it all coming to a close will be what defines you, though? Did you motivate people, learn, impart knowledge, love, persevere, cry, find faith, and refuse to give less than you had left? If you didn’t, maybe you didn’t play the game of life the way it was meant to be played. We’re all fighting a losing battle, but if you’re reading this, it’s not over. Maybe you’re in the first quarter and there’s still plenty of time on your side, but maybe you can see the clock expiring right before your eyes. It’s still not too late. A kind word, lending a hand to someone in need, love that asks nothing in return, truly allowing yourself to feel, a new hobby, a dream that others would scoff at, and a decision to fight a clock that will beat you anyway . . . THOSE are the only things it takes to change everything about your world today. Find that spark - that motivation - and when you do, never let go of it until God decides it’s time for your beaten and broken body to finally rest. If you do that, you’ll never know regret, even in defeat.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Now or Never

   My generation and the one before it has been referred to in a certain way. We want it all, and we want it now. That much is true. I don’t deny that we can be selfish. We want instant gratification for our accomplishments, but life doesn’t always work that way. This isn’t me bashing on the way people think, though. I’m actually going to do the exact opposite. I applaud people who have high expectation and expect everything they deserve and even more. Maybe that sounds odd. People who know me wouldn’t think that I would like a selfish attitude or approve of people who are driven by the prize at the end of their accomplishments, but here’s the fact. We need more people who want instant change in this world. Don’t believe me? Let me show you.
   Over the last decade, we’ve seen the traditional family system fail more than it succeeds, watched as our government spent more money than we can fathom on a war that they were only going to abandon at the end, and seen our innovation that we used to be known for in this country reduced to nothing more than phones and video games. Our education system is slipping, and even our healthcare system has taken a step back in recent years. Things take time, but they get better. That’s what I heard ten years ago. The market would be like it was in the nineties again. We wouldn’t be at war for more than five years. Our leadership would improve. Social justice would prevail. Our schools would get the funding they needed for our students to succeed not just in a home market but in a world market. When do these things really happen, though?
   Do a husband and wife slowly decide to make their marriage work over a decade, or is there an initial decision to commit everything to each other that puts the pieces in place? Does an opportunity for a student take a decade to achieve, or should it come through redistribution of funds to invest in our own futures? Does that bill get passed over years, or can it be done in a quick and efficient manner? Can plans for a war be made in a strategic manner that actually works for our goals, or do we just have to wing it for over a decade and let whatever happens happen?
   Here’s my point. We do want it all, and we want it now. We want families that aren’t dysfunctional, a government who has our best interest at heart, and opportunities to learn more than our parents did. The decision to make someone your world, to do your job the way it should be done, or the commitment to making the nation’s future your number one priority don’t happen in a decade. They happen in one singular moment that is almost instantaneous. You make a decision to commit to something, and from there, change can take over. The whole thing doesn’t happen instantly, but there are always little hints that change is creeping its way into your reality when it becomes what defines you and the people around you. That’s my point in all of this. I want it all, and I want it now. I’m not about to stop wanting instant gratification when I do something good. I’m not going to stop expecting my government to do more, and I will never stop expecting myself to be better every single day of my life. You see, change is only driven by one thing, and that’s unrealistic expectations. In our struggle to achieve the impossible and gain more than we may even deserve, we fall short, but move so much further than others thought we ever could. Change starts with an unrealistic dream that’s a failure, but when we’re done, we see that we’ve accomplished more than should have been possible. Our marriages aren’t perfect, but they work. Our kids’ schools aren’t the perfect environment, but they’re learning in a safe environment without worry. Our government makes mistakes, but they come through on the large issues. We’re better. We didn’t get everything we thought we deserved, but our unrealistic expectations pushed us and the people around us to be better than anyone thought we could be.

   This is America, and we often feel entitled in this country. Many people view that as a bad thing. I say thank God. We are entitled to make a moral life with great spouses and to have great schools where our children can learn without worry. We’re entitled to a better government. After all, we pay our leaders’ salaries. Don’t we deserve better? Shouldn’t we be better? We want it all right now, so let’s get to work. If you want instant gratification, then make a decision with all of you right now to be better and expect more from everyone around you. You might not get everything you want, but it is that entitlement that will lead to more change than you can ever imagine.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Wrong Mission Blitz

   My newest book, Wrong Visions: Lost Memories is officially out today. I’ve put a lot of work into these stories. This book includes 1 novel and 3 short stories that show us what some of my favorite characters have been up to. It features Nathan and Sam from the Wrong series and Trent and Ally from the Strange Visions series. It was a dream come true to see these two storylines come together. I had hinted in one of the Strange Visions books that the two stories were in the same universe, but it wasn’t until now that I actually decided to connect them. For fans of both series, it should be a refreshing read. It isn’t like either series. The Wrong Visions series is going to focus on characters’ relationships more than anything and pay special attention to some of the characters who needed more attention in the first books. Here’s the link to it if you want to check it out.
   Now, onto some more news . . . I’m doing a release day blitz today where I’m going to give away some prizes. We’ll play games, and in general, just have a good time. Stop by my Facebook page and enter the contests if you want to. It’s going to be a lot of fun.
    I also want to make special mention of a series I LOVE. The Strange Visions series was published exactly one year ago. That was a defining moment in my life, and I want as many people to read it as possible. I’m offering it free today, so check it out on me.

   Thanks to everyone who has already picked up Wrong Visions, and look forward to my next project coming out in August. The Unseen is going to be a good one. ;)

Thursday, July 10, 2014

The Collectors

   I want to talk about an observation I’ve made about our culture. I’ve even been a victim of this way of thinking at times. In our society, we’ve become collectors more than anything else. That might be a puzzling statement, but let me explain exactly what I mean over the next few minutes.
   First, we collect material things that we don’t even use. Some are things we physically hold while others are digital items. The ways we use them are useless, however. We want the biggest house and the most cars. It’s common for us to have more space than we know what to do with and have vehicles that are rarely, if ever, used. Then there has been the emergence of digital music. Piracy has become more common. I’ve met several people who brag about the fact that they have literally collected weeks worth of music. They call themselves music lovers. Are they really, though? Most of them have only listened to about 5% of what is on their computer, so how much do they really love music? Is it the music they love or simply the collection? Now, let’s examine the fact that they got all of the music for free. If you love something, you want it to continue. Getting free music does absolutely nothing to help the artist continue with their career. Books can be the same way. With the emergence of free kindle books, we’ve entered a place where supposed book lovers are proud of their 2,000+ collection of e-books that they have on their kindle. What does this really mean, though. Wow! You downloaded a free book and let it sit on your kindle for all of eternity while never reading or reviewing it. How does that mean you love books or support any author anywhere? Movies are the same way. Here’s my point. We’ve become collectors of things that we don’t even like. We’re a society that thinks if you have more of something you must be better. If I have more books, I must read more. If I have a bigger house, I must have more money. If I have three cars, then I must be doing all right. Do any of these things mean anything, though? Does a person who reads two books a week and only downloads two books not love books more than someone who downloads 200 and reads none? Can a person who has a decent sized house instead of a massive one not be happier and have more money? Where has this obsession with collecting things that we don’t even care about come from? Is it an image or a flawed part of our psychology and the culture we’ve been raised in?
   Secondly, I want to talk about people. Yes, we collect people. Some are so proud that they have so many friends. They have tons of Facebook friends and a mountain of contacts in their phone. They like all types of things and get tons of them in return. Here’s the thing, though. These same people rarely spend any time with a single soul. They collect their so-called “friends” while never knowing the true meaning of what a friend is. Then there are relationships, or what some people call them. As a man, I’ve seen this a lot in my lifetime. Many men like to brag about the number of women they have been with. Now, most of it is all lies, but that’s not the point. We think a number defines the quality of mate we are. Somehow more people defines how desirable we are. The people who remember a lover as a number are the scum of this earth. Don’t collect people. You won’t have friends, love, or respect. We’re put here to have quality relationships and not dozens of meaningless ones.
   Finally, we’re religious collectors. We count the number of times we attend church, how much we pray, and what good deeds we’ve committed this week. This collection of right and wrongs leaves us empty and purposeless. Being a good person isn’t about making yourself feel better. It’s about who you are. It’s about doing something out of the kindness of your heart for another because that’s truly your desire. No feeling or reward is ever required. A relationship with God isn’t about how much you talk to Him, but instead about the quality of conversation you have with Him. Is it a ritual or something that means something every single time? Is a church building a way to say I’m a good person, or is it where you desire to be? You can’t collect good deeds or salvation points. Trying to do so only negates every kind act because in the process of collecting mental snapshots of how great of a person you are, you’ve lost everything about what kindness is all about.
   In conclusion, I don’t want to be in a culture full of collectors. We should only collect the things we love and only have what we plan to use. Whether it’s possessions, people, or God, remember to manage all of it responsibly. We’re only here for so long, so stop concentrating on the quantity in your life, and find the quality that makes your life every bit as wonderful as it should be. 

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Moving Along

This blog is about exactly what it sounds like. I made an offer on a house, and it was accepted. I absolutely love this house. It’s almost 2,000 square feet, and it has an in ground pool. It also has a pool house. I can’t wait to share pictures of it with everyone. I couldn’t be happier with it.
   That’s what I really want to talk about. A few weeks ago, I was very disappointed because I made another offer on a house that was literally just down the road. I’m going to be honest. I loved it, but the people who owned it weren’t willing to work with me any. I offered what I felt the place was worth, but that’s all I could do. Then after that, I couldn’t seem to find anything. I had just about given up on looking when we saw this one. It just goes to prove that sometimes doors close so better ones can open. I could have bought a smaller house with no pool or pool house for only a thousand dollars cheaper. It seems like kind of a rip off now that I have this one. Also, this is a four bedroom compared a three bedroom.

   I’m hoping to carry the motivation from getting this house into other areas of my life. I still have a lot of things I want to do. Assuming that something terrible isn’t found on the home inspection, I’m going to concentrate on moving and getting everything set up there over the next couple of weeks, but after that, I’m going to have so many more goals to work on. I know. A lot of people would take a moment to enjoy this, but that’s not in my nature. I still have too many things that need to be done. I want this house to be a starting place. I want it to be the place where my future wife and I live. I want kids, and I want it to be the place where I write my future books. I’ve had a lot of bad luck in many ways in the past, but I think this is a fresh start. In a few weeks, I’ll be working on editing and finding a woman to share my life with. I’m still not satisfied with where I’m at, but a key piece fell into place. I can’t wait to reach a place where I can just live. Goals are great, but there’s going to come a day when I’ve done exactly what I set out to do in writing and I’ve found the most important person in my life. On that day, I’ll be able to stop and take it all in. One year and six months ago I started something. It started with writing, but it was always supposed to finish at one point. I wanted to get things out of me through writing, and I wanted to be financially free. Once I was financially free, I wanted to get a house. Then I was going to find the right person. From there, I would finally just get to live. Slowly but surely, it’s working. I’m getting closer, and I don’t think my goals are going to take ten years, five, or even three to reach. I think they’re in closer reach than I ever thought they were. Here’s to things being the way they should, and here’s to a future with good possibilities for once.