Failure

   Okay, the title of this seems pretty negative. It’s not what you probably think, though. My whole life has consisted of ninety percent failure. Now, that sounds absolutely depressing, but it’s not. It’s also very true for most of us. We like to think things come naturally for us. We’re good spouses, boyfriend and girlfriends, writers, speakers, friends, or even just bowlers. God designed us that way. We’re just naturally good and bad at certain things. I find myself thinking that way sometimes. I pretend that I was always good at writing English papers, having a very active imagination, video games, and certain sports. The fact remains that I can remember when I sucked at all of those things, though. I can still remember at three years old failing to beat Super Mario Brothers again and again. It’s one of my earliest memories. I continued to play, though. I got better until I was what I called naturally great at video games. God had graced me with great hand-eye coordination, or so I thought.

   In high school, I hated writing English papers, and honestly, my stories and poetry left much to be desired. I couldn’t have gotten an A on a paper if someone else wrote 90% of it for me. I continued to write all types of things, though, and before I knew it, I couldn’t remember a time when I couldn’t spit out a paper or poem in my sleep.

   You might be asking what the point is. Well, here it is. We’re all born failures. That’s right. I said it. God or your DNA didn’t grant you any special abilities that anyone else doesn’t have. We all come into this world equal in almost every way. Here’s the thing, though. We don’t leave it that way. Our legacies tell the stories of who we were, and some hold much more appeal than other’s. Here’s the truth. God gave us an infinite number of possibilities. We can do anything with enough trial and error.

   Failure is viewed as the ultimate defeat. We hate it so much that we don’t even allow our kids to experience it anymore. When they come in fifth in their youth league, they still get the same trophy as the first place kids, and when we fail out of a class, we simply change majors and just say it wasn’t what we were meant for. We could never be that person. I’m here to tell you that you can be whatever person you want, no matter what that means. In failure, we find out exactly who we are. It might be the single greatest gift we have. Still don’t believe me? Really think about it. What was your first date or your first kiss like? Were you perfect at everything from the beginning, or did you have to learn the dance? How many times did you fall on your face and pick yourself back up until you learned everything you needed to know? That’s real strength, and it’s what drives us to the most important things we’ll ever accomplish. When we fail and a feeling of complete depression seeps its way into us, we have to make a choice. We can accept that defeat and never be what we set out to be, or we can let those feelings drive us to reach new heights.

   I’ll give you a good example. When I played football, I had a unique experience. There was a kid who outweighed everyone on our team by about a hundred pounds, and he was strong, too. Most were scared of him. I was at first. We used to do a drill called the board. It was simple. We had a long board, and two people would stand on each end of it. When the whistle was blown, you ran at each other and collided. The whistle wasn’t blown again until someone was pushed to the other end of the board or you were on the ground. I failed every day against that kid. Everyone did. No one ever beat him one time. I made it a personal goal to beat him, though, and I even started switching places with people in line so I would face him. I don’t think my coach knew that, and I’m pretty sure my teammates thought I was crazy, but I did it and failed every single day. I even broke my wrist going against that kid. I got better, though, and by the end of the year, I was giving him as much as he could handle. Ultimately, I failed, but the next year, my failure gave me so much. I went through a growth spurt, and I was already used to facing the best competition, so I was better than I used to be. I was the MVP that next year, and I think it was all because of my failures the year before. I wasn’t scared to lose every single day of my life in the pursuit of what others were scared of, and being defeated that much made me humble so even when I was successful, I still saw how far I had to go.

   I know what you’re thinking. What does a game have to do with life? A lot actually. We get hit in the mouth literally and metaphorically so much in our lives. Those hits can cause us to run away and seek another path, or we can start to enjoy it. It can forge us into something new and better. I’m writing this to encourage everyone to do something we’re told not to. Bite off more than you can chew. If you’re a young writer, take an idea that’s way above you at the moment and run with it. You’ll probably fail, but what you learn through that experience will make you so much better than you were before. If you’re a student, take a class that earns you a C instead of an easy A. You’ll be better off when you’re done. The purpose of work, school, sports, and even romance are much more complicated than we think of them. We think work is all about money, and school is just about a degree. The truth is that accomplishment and learning are a huge part of those, too. If you’re not driving yourself to accomplish and learn more, even if it comes with mistakes, then you’re being robbed of being forged into everything you could be. We think of sports as something for fun, but in fact, it can teach us discipline and perseverance, if we let it. Finally, we want romance because of the feelings it gives us, but at the end of the day, the most amazing thing about loving someone isn’t how they make you feel. It’s how you can make their life so much better than it was without you. Don’t you see? Any work, play, learning, or romance worth doing are going to come with so many failures before you figure out how to be a good enough you to shine in whatever you’re doing.

   I thank God for my failures. They are what’s allowed me to succeed, and I think if you’ll take a second to acknowledge it, you’ll realize that every failed project, relationship, and class landed you the best successes of your life. Without them, you wouldn’t know how to do anything.

   Thanks for reading my thoughts on failure. It’s not a popular view anymore in a world where we all want to be a winner, but it is one thing that all successful people have in common. We all fail dozens of times before we succeed. Keep getting back up. Even if it takes a dozen tries, you’ll get there, and you’ll wear every scar, mental or physical, like a badge of honor.