The Challenge

   I’ve been thinking about something lately that we probably all think about. There are so many things I didn’t do in my life that if I could go back I would do. Now, I couldn’t have known that I should have put ten grand down on the New York Giants to beat the Patriots, and I had a hunch that the Saints were on the rise, but I couldn’t bring myself to put cash on a team that had just won their first playoff game. I’m talking about more than that, though. Haven’t you ever wished you had told someone you loved them? Maybe your regret goes to the other side of the spectrum. Maybe there was someone who tormented you, and you wish that you had punched them just once. I have a lot of those types of regrets. There were people I would have approached, people I would have stayed away from, and for God’s sake! I would have never tried Gelato. That stuff has completely made any workout routine I try to get going useless! Here’s the thing, though. There are still a lot of moments left in my life. I’m going to be faced with opportunities to act or walk away, and I think I’ve decided what type of person I want to be.

   I examined my past, and something weird happened. I always thought that I would look back at those embarrassing moments and cringe when I got older. I really don’t, though. A girl turned me down or I said something embarrassing. Is that really such a big deal? Doesn’t everyone get turned down at least once in their lifetime, and honestly, if you can find someone who doesn’t say at least one stupid thing per day, then I want to meet them. The things I remember are times when I was afraid of rejection or embarrassment. You see, I don’t talk about this a lot, but I’m really self-conscious. I’ve always thought too much about what I’m going to say, which often leads to me saying nothing at all. I get scared of how people will perceive my ideas, and on a bigger scale, I get scared that if I hand my heart to someone on a silver platter that they’re going to crush it. Those fears are normal, but the fear that had paralyzed me in the past isn’t normal. It’s something I’m slowly overcoming. I still struggle with it, but things are getting better. I’ve actually examined the boy I was and the man I’ve become. I should have never felt insecure. Physically and mentally, I have all the tools to be successful in any given area. The only person who has been holding me back all these years is myself. I think it’s strange how that’s often the case for all of us. We know what we want, but we don’t have the confidence to pursue it. That beautiful and smart person could never love you, your ideas aren’t worth anything, you’ll just say something stupid. Why do these thoughts come to our minds even when there’s every reason to believe that we’ll succeed? I can’t figure it out, but I am finding ways to work against my own insecurities.

   I’m going to start doing something today. Every day, I’m going to find something that I’m uncomfortable with and do it. I probably won’t pick anything too complicated at first, but I know one thing. No opportunities for what I want or who I want to be around will pass me by again. I deserve great things and people, and I’m more than capable of finding them. This is the first brave thing I’m doing. As a man, I’ve been taught to appear confident my entire life. After all, women find confidence attractive, so why wouldn’t I walk around like I thought I was great? Here’s the truth, though. I know I can do great things and that I can make the people in my life happy, but there’s still a lot of insecurity that creeps its way into my brain. I’m not perfect, and I’m sorry, but I’m also not confident or comfortable in social situations. That’s the truth, and that’s me. I’m the guy who plans a little too much and worries too much. I think that’s the first key to gaining confidence, however. You have to look at yourself in the mirror and see everything you are and be all right with it. I did that recently. I saw someone with a lot of potential that was being wasted by his own insecurity. I’m working on that now, and I challenge you to do the same. I don’t care who you are. Everyone has that little voice that tells us we’re not good enough. It might not be in social situations. It might be at work or in school, but I’m telling you that I’m going to start challenging my doubts. When that voice tells me I’m not good enough, instead of accepting it, I’m going to find out if it’s right. If it’s wrong ten percent of the time, I’m going to be significantly better off than I was before, but there’s no reason to believe that I won’t be successful the majority of the time. I challenge you to do the same thing. When that voice says you can’t, look at it as a challenge and not something written in stone.

   In a nutshell, I hope that all of you will do what I’m going to start doing. Challenge one negative belief you have about yourself every day. By the time you’re through, I guarantee you’re going to find that there’s not half as much wrong with you as there is right.