Children

  I just wanted to update everyone on what I’ve been doing as far as writing goes and maybe share a few off the wall thoughts. I’ve been working really hard to get Wrong Fortunes ready. I’m really excited to get this book out there. It’s set during the time that Sam is supposedly dead and Lee and Trish are in Las Vegas. I felt like I was going back to my comfort zone when I wrote this book, and I don’t know if others will think that is a good thing or not, but it was certainly a lot of fun to write. In fact, I had more fun writing that book than I have in a long time. I literally put every idea on the table and explored all sorts of ideas that I had in the past. I never had a map in my mind of where things were going. Somehow the book just ended up at a destination that I really liked. I’m writing on the sixth and second to last book in the Wrong series now. I’m putting a lot of effort into editing as I go, so I’m hoping that my release timeframe can be quick, but who knows? I’m fifty-seven thousand words in right now, and this story is a little out of my comfort zone, but it’s been interesting to write it, nonetheless. In this book, Nathan and Sam have two children, and as I’m sure you all know, kids change everything. Nathan and Sam react differently in situations, and the way they love each other is even different. It’s not a better or worse type of love. It’s just different. It’s strange writing from that perspective. I’ve really enjoyed writing about a couple with children, and I didn’t expect that at all. In fact, I’ve always been the type of guy who couldn’t picture myself with children, but after writing about two people who love each other and share something that is incredibly pure, I don’t think it would be such a bad thing. As a matter of fact, I think I’m really looking forward to that part of my life. It’s a different kind of way to write, and I think it’s a different kind of love between two people after they have kids. Some people aren’t ready for kids, and they can surprisingly feel a twinge of jealousy over the fact that their partner has to put their baby first. Many people can take this to mean that their relationship is weakening, and they worry about it until they resent the fact that they even have a child. They miss what’s really amazing about their situation. They get to share a part of themselves with someone else, and that’s amazing. That child is half of them and half of the person they love. Everything they love about their partner, they see in their child in a way. I never thought I would look at things that way, but I can’t wait for the day that I find someone I don’t feel like I can live without and we bring a person into the world that is everything I love about her and more. I know this was kind of a long rant about children, and I don’t want to give anyone the wrong idea. I don’t want a child right now, but I just find it amazing how writing one book can change your entire perspective on everything. I hope that with every book I grow as a person, and I hope that I get the chance to bring someone into this world that I can’t live without. Will I be scared? Sure, but I’m now convinced that nothing is as beautiful as living for someone who is a part of you and the person you love more than anyone. 

Laughing

   I wanted to share a few thoughts with everyone today before the Packers kick off. It’s come to my attention that I don’t smile and laugh enough, and yes, I can be too serious at times, so without further ado, I am going to laugh more. In fact, I’m going to start right now. (*Lets out crazed and very forced laugh*) Now my family officially thinks that I’m a little crazy. That’s what tends to happen when you let out a crazed laugh when you’re sitting in a dark room writing … In all seriousness, though, I probably do need to step away from the computer a little more and go do something fun. Twenty-five year olds normally do that, right? I’ve fallen into this trap lately of having to be serious about everything, though. I have to pour every ounce of energy into my writing and my relationships, and I’ve come to one conclusion. All that is just too exhausting. I’m going to let the people in my life pull the weight in our relationships for a while, and I’m going to slow down on writing so I can remember what it means to have fun. It’s kind of strange that I’m saying this as I write … it makes me think that I might just be lying to myself, but then again, I do know that I need to take some time to soak in the moment more. I’ve released eight books in three months, and I’m just now starting to see that I should have probably enjoyed the process of that more. I should have also been proud that I was even able to do that. It wasn’t easy. On the flip side of things, I probably should have moved slower on releasing my books. I’ve poured so much energy into books that I’ve forgotten what it’s like to laugh and love. Well, it’s time for that to stop. I’m ready for my life to be shared with people, music, and comedy again. I want to do something completely new every day, and I don’t want to do it for some grand purpose. I just want to do it because I can. Shouldn’t that be why we do everything? I mean, we always try to attach some type of meaning to everything we do, but what if all we’re here for is to smell the roses.

   And there I go into some type of philosophical thing on this blog. I’m doing the exact thing I said I wouldn’t do and being serious. I know … I know … I probably just set a record for the quickest time to go back on a resolution ever. I guess the point of all this is to say that I’m not going to work harder, go to church more, put more effort into improving what I already am, or have some type of epiphany that alters my entire world view. I’m just going to go to more movies, clubs, and concerts than ever, and most importantly, I’m going to soak up every moment of it. I’m going to pursue fun activities and avoid anyone who brings me back to anything that resembles the dark place I’ve been for the last few weeks, and most of all, I’m going to laugh even when I don’t feel like it. In a way, I have to step out of the dark, and in another way, I simply want to. It starts today with something simple. The Packers versus the Redskins. It’s only a game but today it’s all I have time for, and that’s exactly the way it should be.

People

  We all try to be a reflection of what the people in our world expect to see, but I wonder how great our world would be if we just tried to be what we are. There would be so many new ideas and perspectives. Creativity would literally go in all directions. Maybe most importantly, we would be able to be happy and not just put on some show for everyone while we die a little on the inside. I always find it fun to watch small children or extremely old people. Neither of them cares what anyone thinks. They’re just who they are, and most of them have something in common. They’re happy to wake up in the morning. Can you say that you’re happy every morning? Do you greet the day with enthusiasm or do you wear a fake smile and go off to a place that you’re only pretending to belong? Be who you are, and never ever apologize for that, and even more than that, never make someone feel bad for being exactly what they should be. We’re all equal when we enter this world. Don’t be afraid to shine, and no matter what, don’t be afraid to walk alone until you find the people you’re supposed to be walking beside. The wait is worth it. Believe me.

Back To Blogging

  I haven’t blogged for a very long time, and I’m sorry to anyone who is used to checking in on me on here. I’ve been swamped for the last few weeks. I went back through all the books in the “Wrong” series and did another edit on them, and then I uploaded them to create space so they could be in paperback. It’s now available through them or Amazon. In between doing that, I wrote a new book and a fourth of another one. As you can see, I’ve been swamped. I have missed blogging about random things, though. Sometimes you can forget what it’s like to just write to write. On here, I’m not selling my thoughts or trying to word what I say in a way that some other person may want to hear my words. I’m simply being me, and that’s something that I’ve missed being able to be lately.

  So in the spirit of being me, I’m going to tell you all about what’s been going on with me since the last time I updated you. Besides working, I’ve been rejoicing in the fact that football is back. Yes, I know that the NFL isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but it certainly brings a lot of joy to my life. I’ve also been gathering a lot of ideas on how to end both of my series. I actually wrote the ending to the Strange Visions series a few days ago. Yes, I admit that I might have wanted to tear up a little. If I had, they would have been manly tears, though. It’s strange that I was so sad about ending something that has lasted for five books. Many series never last that long, and yes, I could have kept writing more books, but I didn’t want to stretch it until everyone including myself was bored with the story line. I released the fourth book in the Strange Visions series yesterday, and I’m hoping to have the last book edited and ready to go sooner or later, but I don’t want to commit to a date just yet. The Wrong series is going to end in a more drawn out way, but for anyone who read Wrong Regrets, you know that there were practically three potential stories that could come out of that book. There will be three more books in that series, and I’m going to end the whole thing with a bang in January . . . or at least that’s when I think I’ll be done with everything. Don’t hold me to that. I’ve been told that I work faster than I probably should. In fact, throwing out dates has been known to make me feel more than a little panicked. As for everything else, I’ve just been learning a lot, and I don’t just mean about books. I’m learning who I want to be in the future, or more accurately, who I don’t want to be. I see people everyday who settle for less than they deserve. I have settled for that my whole life, and quite frankly, I’m tired of it. I’m going to start expecting more out of myself and out of the people around me. I deserve more. Maybe that statement sounds a little selfish, but I don’t mean it that way. I just have a strong belief that we should all be valued by the people in our lives or we should find new people to be in our lives. At the same time, we should treasure those who value us, and give them even more than they deserve. That’s what I want in my future. I have a feeling that I’m probably going to have less friends if I start cutting people out of my life who are selfish and egotistical, but that’s all right. Even if I only find one true friend and one woman to love at the end of all of this, that would be enough. Most people never realize it, but they don’t even find that. We don’t find true friends and great spouses because we settle for less than we deserve. Sometimes it can be the opposite. We can be that person forsaking the very person who does value us. The last few weeks have taught me one thing, and that is that I don’t want to be either of those people. Life isn’t perfect, and relationships aren’t perfect, but I’ll find who I’m looking for, or I won’t find anyone at all because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that nothing is worse than pretending like you have the people you need in your life when the truth is that it feels like a part of your soul is missing.

  Sorry if I bummed anyone out at the end there. I just wanted everyone to know that I’m going to be changing a lot over the next few weeks and to know that I’m going to be blogging again. I probably won’t put something up everyday, but it definitely won’t take weeks for me to update anymore. Thanks for reading.