Destiny Entry 3

   The next blog in this Destiny series is about something that we all know a thing or two about, but I didn’t really know as much as I thought until a few days before I started writing this book. This is about passion, and no, not like the kind of passion you have for your favorite NFL team. This one is about when you have a burning passion for someone else. Now, I know what that sounds like. It probably sounds like I’m talking about sex, and that’s definitely a factor in passion, but there’s so much more to it. Before I was writing this, I went out on a date with a girl. I had just got out of a…well . . . something. I’m not clear if it was a relationship or not . . . Anyway, the new girl I went out with was incredibly beautiful. As a matter of fact, she was the prettiest girl I’ve ever been out with. There was one problem, though. Nothing clicked. I acknowledge that she was gorgeous, but I wasn’t attracted to her at all. Until then, I had thought of passion as a more physical thing. I, like most guys, really paid attention to how someone looked. I’m not knocking that even now, but here I was with the prettiest girl in the room, and I didn’t want to be there. I didn’t want to kiss her, talk to her, or anything else. That experience went into how I wrote the next few chapters of Destiny.

   Eric and Olivia are very passionate about each other as they grow up, and that extends to a lot of areas. They find each other attractive in a physical way, but it’s so much more than that. I made these characters’ relationship in the way that I felt it could be filled with the most passion, but that didn’t involve Eric developing into a muscular man or Olivia looking like a supermodel. It involved their lives being so intertwined that they were a part of each other. Eric would do anything for her, and she would do anything for him. Notice how I said they would do anything for each other, and that wasn’t contingent on anything. That’s what passion is. It’s doing anything to make the person you love smile. It’s them being the first person you think of in the mornings and the last person who crosses your mind as you fall asleep. It’s letting them be the motivation for your actions. For my people who think of passion as a sexual thing, it is sometimes. I’ll admit that with no problems, but let me ask you something. What person would you rather be with: the person who’s very passionate about having sex with you, or the person who’s actions are completely dictated by what makes you happy and brings you pleasure? I know what my answer is. If a person is passionate enough about you that most of their actions revolve around bringing you happiness, then they’re going to be your best friend, most romantic date ever, and I can guarantee you that the passion in the bedroom will take a much deeper and romantic tone. When you find two people who are truly passionate about each other in this way, you get pure fireworks. That’s what I want, and that’s how I wrote these characters. I want someone I can put all of myself into making laugh, loving, and pleasing, and I want them to be just as into me as I am into them. To me, that’s what real passion is. It’s not about how you look or even sex. It’s about the connection that makes us want to do anything we can to make another person feel as happy as we can.

   These chapters of Destiny are about deep kisses and realizing that you love every part of someone unconditionally. It’s about flames that might burn out but can never be rivaled or forgotten. For me, they’re a reminder to never let a moment pass by that you could be showing a person you’re passionate about how much they mean to you. We often forget what love and passion are. They’re not about pleasure. They’re about giving away yourself to someone so they can experience all the joy, love, and ecstasy they’ve already given to you.

Destiny Entry 2

   This entry is going to be a little about the new book and a lot about life in general. When I got past the first few chapters in Destiny, I found that my main character wasn’t quite the standard good guy. Now, I don’t think he was bad at all, but he was faced with hard decisions like we all are. Sometimes you have to do the wrong thing to get what you want, but how do you know when to do that? Is wrong always wrong, or are there exceptions? I think finding the answer to that and owning your actions is part of becoming an adult, and Eric learned the same lesson I did a long time ago.

   Sometimes life isn’t about how right or wrong you are. It’s about what you’re willing to be wrong for. I know what you might be thinking. For some, wrong is always wrong. I get that. No justification you make will turn a wrong into a right, but no one is perfect. If you’re going to be imperfect, then maybe you should pick what you’re willing to be imperfect for. Who or what would you lie for, fight for, and even die for? Whose life would you destroy to make the world right for someone else? It’s a hard question, and I would like to tell you there’s always a right path, but that’s not necessarily true. At times, you have to get your hands dirty. Sometimes when you look into the mirror, you might not even be able to recognize the person staring back at you because of what you’ve done. The key isn’t to be perfect, though. It’s weighing your actions and knowing that it was all worth it. Every wrong eventually catches up to you. Can you live with the consequences, and maybe most importantly, will you try to make things right in the long run? That’s what growing up is really about to me. It’s not about being able to tell right from wrong, always doing the right thing, or even learning to play fair. It’s about learning to pick your battles. Nine times out of ten, you should do the right thing and be the nice guy/girl because the consequences of your actions just aren’t worth it, not to mention that you might just be destroying someone else’s life with your selfishness. What about that other ten percent of the time, though? What about when doing the wrong thing can give you or someone else exactly what you deserve? Maybe the wrong thing will produce even better results for everyone in the long run. Know when to act, when to be still, and when to apologize. That’s the last part of the lesson you learn when growing up. Even if you have a perfectly good reason for doing the wrong thing, when it all catches up to you, the most important part of being a man is admitting that you’re wrong. That doesn’t mean you have to regret your actions, and it certainly doesn’t mean you have to let someone run you down for them, but it does mean that you have to acknowledge who you’ve stepped on to get to where you are and try to make it right. Sometimes we have to do some horrible things to get the right results for the people we love, our kids, friends, or even just to get ahead in work. In the right circumstances, that’s understandable. It’s never okay, and it will come with problems later on, but ask yourself two questions before going into something you know is wrong. The first is why am I doing this, and the second is who is this for. Answer honestly, and you’ll know exactly what you should do.

   To sum it up, I’m not encouraging anyone to do the wrong thing. I’m simply saying this. You might have to step on someone else to get the person you love or get the job that will give you a better life. That might be worth it and completely understandable, but don’t let that absolve you of your responsibility to the person you just stepped on. Be the person who goes after what’s meant to be theirs, but also be the one who has enough wisdom to take a step back and say you’re sorry. Otherwise, you might just find that you’re the bad guy in your own story.

Destiny Entry 1

   As some of you already know, I have an upcoming title named Destiny that I’m very proud of. I’m happy to say that it will be coming out next. I’m currently polishing it and coming up with a marketing campaign. While I do that, I want to let everyone who reads my blog in on this project, though. I’ll write several entries to do with this subject in the coming days, and I hope they give you insight into why this has been a project that’s meant so much to me.

   The idea for Destiny all started when a woman asked me what my favorite movies were. I named off all types of things because that’s just who I am. I love action, horror, thrillers, sci-fi, and even romance. When I mentioned The Notebook as one of my favorite movies, she thought it was a little funny, and I’ll admit I felt kind of ashamed. There’s nothing like letting a woman know on the first date that you’re a total softy. :) Anyway, I started thinking after that day about the things I really liked and realized that action and suspense are entertaining, but what really excites me is relationships. I wanted to write a book about something very simple but yet infinitely complicated. It would have to be a big project because it’s hard to tell the story of someone’s entire life, but I think I did it in a very good way that I can be proud of.

   The first part of Destiny concentrates on a fourteen year old Eric Wilson who visits some relatives in Wisconsin and meets the most amazing person. I don’t want to spoil anything from the book, but it was so great to show those years in a character. They’re awkward and filled with comedy, but at the same time, they’re so filled with love. We’re innocent at that age. Love is pure, and there aren’t so many expectations. We haven’t been burned yet, so things can just be what they are without jealousy or suspicion. The first few chapters really brought me back to a place I took for granted when I was fourteen. All the growing pains, the discovery of who I was and wanted to be, and the ability to love without trying were all a part of my life then. It was a wonderful time, and I think these chapters shine so much because of that. You laugh and fall in love with two characters who have no idea how complicated life can get. All they know is that they love each other.

   At its heart, this story is a romance, but it’s also so much more than that. I think I did a good job of showing a complicated family dynamic, puppy love, and what it means to grow up in these chapters. Those are the themes of the early parts of Destiny, but maybe none of that matters. Maybe all that’s important to the reader is if it entertains. I can’t say for sure that everyone will love Destiny, but I can say this with certainty. Every time I read the first four chapters of this book, I smile a little and get taken back to what it was like to be an awkward fourteen year old who found someone who could appreciate him in all of his awkwardness.

   I hope all of you will check out my future entries involving Destiny and just my life in general. Eric Wilson and Olivia Winters’ stories are almost ready. In some ways, this is really my story, though. I was so comfortable in writing action that I never thought I would do something like this, but when I actually tried it, I found that a slice of life book with a romance that was flawed but beautiful was exactly where I felt at home. I have a new genre to write in now, and I think it might be my main niche from now on.

Destiny Preorder

   Today I’m announcing that Destiny is coming to Kindle on August 28^th. In case you don’t know, Destiny is a book I’ve been working on since last year, and it has been such a joy to write. I think it’s going to be an even bigger joy to share it with all of you. This story is one that consumed every part of me. I wrote during the day, and at night, I struggled to sleep because I kept coming back to it in my mind. When I closed my eyes, I saw two characters who had become friends of mine, and I couldn’t wait until the sun came up again so I could go back to them. For me, this book was everything, and I truly believe that others will find it to be entertaining, cute, and at the same time, full of the hard truths we face in life. At its heart, Destiny is a romantic novel, but it’s so much more than that. I wish I could tell all of you the story right now, but I don’t want to ruin anything. I wrote this one for all the people who said I should try my hand at romance and slice of life stories. I hope you guys will love it.

   Now that I’ve told you the release date and how much I love these characters, I want to share a few more things with you. First off, it’s time for me to reveal the cover. Below I’m going to include it along with some teaser images. At the very bottom of the page, I’ll put a link for anyone who wants to preorder now. No pressure. :)

   Before I go, I want to say one more thing about today and the future of my newest novel. Starting on August 28^th, I’m really going to push this book. I already have a lot of promotional programs in mind and some more set up that will help get the word out about Destiny. I believe in it, and I’m putting my money where my mouth is on this one. I honestly feel like this is the best thing I’ve ever written. I know. I’ve said that in the past, but I mean it. This story is leaps and bounds better than what I’ve done before, and I happen to like my other stories. ;) If you can’t tell, I’m very proud of this one. I could walk away happy after this book because I know in my heart I’ve done what I set out to do in writing now that I have this story under my belt. I can’t push it all on my own, though, no matter how much I talk about it or how much money I put into promotion. Word of mouth goes a long way. For those who already like what I do, I would ask that you tell a friend about my newest book, and for everyone else, give Destiny a read when it comes out. If you like it like I think you will, then spread the word. This one isn’t about money. This book took on a different feel to me, and I want it to succeed because I feel these characters deserve to have their stories heard by many. I don’t even care if anyone knows I wrote it. I just want it to get the credit it deserves, so help me out if you end up loving it as much as I do.

www.amazon.com/dp/B012DVNNG6

The Divided States of America

You can already guess what this is about, thanks to the title. I know . . . I know. This subject has been done to death, but that’s exactly why I want to talk about it. I could bring up the flag that everyone has an opinion on, and I will, but this issue isn’t that simple. I have many friends and a lot more acquaintances on Facebook. For the last month, all I’ve heard about is the Confederate flag, and depending on where you’re from or what you’re into, you probably have some kind of opinion about this. The problem with this issue is it’s everywhere, and people seem to be extremely opinionated about it. That’s a dangerous thing. Some believe their “heritage” is being trampled all over, and a few of these people are even willing to fight for it. Then there’s the other side. They view the Confederate flag as a symbol of hate, and think that most who fly it are racist. That’s a pretty big separation, and both views are far from reality. I’m going to tell you why no one seems to have this issue right, and you might not agree with me. You don’t have to. It’s just one man’s opinion, but I truly believe that if both sides would look at this issue in reality, they might just find that things are much simpler than they believe.

First, let’s challenge the belief that our government is trying to take southerners’ heritage. Does a flag define you and where you’ve been? Is it truly what makes you feel pride about where you’re from? If it is, then maybe you like the idea of something more than the reality. Here’s the truth. No one alive today ever fought in the Civil War or even knew someone who did. That flag might represent different things to different people, but here’s where it came from. It’s a reminder of a dark past where many Americans died fighting amongst each other for a number of reasons that were all wicked. Take your pick of issues in the Civil War. There was slavery, taxation, and an argument for State’s Rights. All of this is a representation of things that are a very dark part of our history. Our ancestors enslaved and were enslaved for nothing more than cheap labor, and what some viewed as unfair taxation and tariffs contributed to an already unstable situation. Then there were State’s Rights being used for what was what many might call a traitorous war, depending on what your opinion is about all this. The point is that nothing about the history of the Civil War is something for us to take pride in, and I don’t mean that just as someone from the south. I mean that no one anywhere in the country should consider the darkest part of our history as something to take pride in. If you want to be proud of your heritage, then by all means, do so. Make sure you’re proud of things that are worth something, though. I’m from Mississippi, and a flag that was created long before I was born doesn’t fill me with anything. I don’t feel hate for it, and at the same time, I feel no pride. It’s just a meaningless symbol for me. The things I feel pride about are much closer to home. For me, it’s all about my immediate family, and when I look back at history, I choose to feel pride in the great things that were accomplished here. The first lung transplant was performed by Dr. James Hardy in Mississippi. That’s the type of thing you can build on, not a long lost war or a flag from it.

Now, let’s go to the other side of this. Some assume that anyone who flies this flag are automatically racists and even go as far as to say it should be against the law to fly it. Are some people racist who fly the Confederate flag or wear clothes that feature it? Sure they are, but that can be said about people who don’t. The fact is you don’t know someone’s heart. What that flag means to somebody could be the total opposite of what it means to you. I see no significance in it, but I do see significance in many things that people dislike. Some of them remind me of people who have passed on or spark memories of people I haven’t seen in a long time. I understand that some people find that flag offensive and racist, but people need to slow down for a second. You can’t censor what a person does on their own property or change how they choose to feel, nor can you accurately judge their hearts. The Civil War and slavery happened a long time ago. No one is alive who went through that. I know some have suffered discrimination, but that’s just life. Someone somewhere is always going to dislike you for the color of your skin or your gender. We can’t control that. All we can do is show love for people and work to break through stereotypes that are created to divide us. There are some left in our nation who hate others just for the color of their skin. They give themselves reasons to hate that are only in their head. People may say that black men must be lazy; women must not be as emotionally stable; a white guy who has a bumper sticker with a flag on it must be a racist. See how it works? Sometimes stereotypes are correct, but most of the time, they’re just something we concoct in our brains to justify our worldview. We can’t force others to change to accommodate our worldview. A flag is just that. Has it been used as a hate symbol? Yeah, more than a few times, but I think if you’ll really examine any symbol, you’ll find that someone thinks its offensive. We can’t outlaw all symbols because we assume they’re going to be used in hate, and we should never think for one second that we can judge the hearts of men because of how we feel about something. It’s not possible to do.

Now, for how I feel about this. We are not The United States of America anymore. We’re the divided ones. Everyone is offended about everything it seems, and no one can give an inch. Would it be so bad if the Confederate flag didn’t exist? Would it change everyone’s existence who flies it? No. It wouldn’t change a thing. At the same time, taking it down wouldn’t change anyone’s existence either. Racism would go on because it’s a disease for the ignorant and delusional. Unfortunately, the ignorant and delusional are always going to exist. To me, this issue with the flag represents so much more than a flag. It’s an example of what we’ve become as Americans. There are men and women, white and black, Democrat and Republican, and north and south. Where are the Americans? Where are the men and women of all colors and beliefs who see this as their country and agree to disagree because sometimes that’s what freedom is all about. Sometimes it’s about saying I’ll never see things from your point of view, but I respect where you’re coming from, and you’re still my brother/sister. We’re in this together, and that’s something we’ve forgotten. We can’t remember how to be proud of our country and the people in it. We lobby for self-interest all while fighting anyone who stands against what we represent. We’ve forgotten the most important part of our country’s name. We’re The United States of America. Without unity, we’re bound to fall, and it probably won’t be to a foreign enemy. The very system that was built for us will crumble because of selfishness, wickedness, and the inability to shut our mouths for two seconds. That’s all we do anymore. We’re a nation of complainers. It’s on the news and social media, and I don’t think people dislike it. I think they get some type of sick enjoyment out of the division. Well, I don’t. Here’s me saying my two cents. To my brothers and sisters of any color, I don’t agree with everything you do, but I’m in this with you. I’m an American, and I love all of you, regardless of your beliefs or background. With you, I would bleed to maintain the life we’ve been presented with. That’s our true heritage. We’re Americans, and we can stand together or fall under the weight that we put on ourselves every day.

My Journey

   Today I want to talk about my journey in a very honest way. There are so many different subjects I could write about. I could tell you about my new books that will be coming out in a few weeks, or I could talk about the confederate/wall of rainbows we’ve seen on all of our Facebook pages. Let’s be honest, though. Those subjects have enough people weighing in on them, and it’s boring to even think about at this point. For today, I’m going to concentrate on getting something out of me that has been eating away at who I am for a while now. I’m sorry if I come off as a patient sitting on your metaphorical couch while you play the role as shrink, but I need to step back and be honest for a minute. It would be easy to tell you how well things are going. That’s what people want - positivity. I completely get that, but at a certain point, you have to let everything out that’s eating away at you in the back of your mind, and I feel like mine’s about to burst. Here’s me just being who I am uncensored and without thought to book sales, the latest thing that offends someone, or wondering how to inspire others.

   I’ve hit a snag in my journey that I can’t seem to get past. I started all of this to find my niche, and in so many ways, I did. I found what I love to do in private. I found friends and stories to connect with. Books have been my way of expression and escapism, and I love that, but there’s another part of my journey that has nothing to do with expression or escaping the reality right in front of me. It has everything to do with things like this - understanding, relation, intimacy, kindness, empathy, and maybe most of all, love. You might say those things are simple. You might even think that everyone can understand you because we all feel down sometimes, and even the most different mind has someone out there who can relate to them. When I mention intimacy I hear comments like you just need to get laid. Just those three things can tell you so much about why I feel down right now and like I’m going nowhere. I have a different point of view from most people, and oftentimes when I express it, people don’t understand. As a matter of fact, it’s all the time. We live in a society where everyone picks a side on any major view, and they stick to it. Then there’s me. I don’t. Republican or Democrat, McDonalds or Burger King, Sprint or AT&T, this flag or that flag, short or tall, fat or skinny, and male or female. To me, all of these choices mean nothing. Republicans and Democrats are simply parties that argue for their own points of view in oftentimes juvenile ways, and they represent nothing that’s even close to my views. However you slice it with McDonalds or Burger King, it’s still just a hamburger. This flag or that flag is just one more thing to argue about or burn, depending on your point of view. Your appearance tells me nothing about the soul, and yet everyone has so many preferences and requirements to even be friends with an individual. In my experience, men and women aren’t even that different, but yet there seems to be such a separation between us in most people’s minds. You wouldn’t even think we were the same species sometimes. What I’m trying to say is maybe the problem isn’t that people don’t understand me. It’s that I don’t understand them anymore. We’re in a world where people love to complain and take sides about everything. They love to call intimacy sex, and then go tell all of their friends about their experience with the person they took to bed, and in the worst cases, even post pictures of it online. To me, intimacy is still something that’s private. It’s more than sex or anything physical. It’s that place where the most private parts of yourself physically and mentally are safe with another person. As far as I can tell, intimacy died with the digital age. We can’t even think something without putting it out there for the world, much less keep a secret for a person we’re supposed to be intimate with. As for kindness, I don’t see any. We pretend to be kind. We say a silent prayer for people and hit like on Facebook and think that makes us a great person, but all the while, we do nothing. We lie to ourselves and say we’ve done our part when in reality, we’ve done absolutely nothing.

   Finally, there’s love. Where is it? They say it still exists, but I don’t see it at all. In a society where we’re always looking to trade up cars and houses, somehow we’ve managed to treat people like possessions, too. We’re constantly trading up for a better girlfriend or boyfriend, and in the worst of cases, spouse. Our love is no longer true or intimate. It’s contingent on beauty, money, and power. It isn’t strong, enduring, or only for the one we supposedly care for most. It’s with condition and for whoever can meet those special conditions we cook up in our minds. We call them needs. We need a partner who looks at least this good, is this educated, makes this much money, and is respected this much. Never does love enter the equation. It’s all practical, like we’re picking out a new car.

   Finding my niche wasn’t all about a career. It was about finding my people, too. I’m still searching so hard, and if I’m being honest, I’m losing hope. I’m not the optimistic person I was a few months ago. I try to pretend I am when I talk to others because I don’t want to ruin their day, but here’s the truth. I don’t see the grand purpose in the things everyone cares so much about, I haven’t found someone I can share the lightest parts of my day with and it stay private, much less the deepest parts of who I am, likes and dropping a quarter in a homeless person’s cup have been mistaken with making a difference, and worst of all, we’ve forgotten how to love. People have become objects we can use for temporary company, sex, better status, easy money, and arm candy. They’re the same as a really expensive car that screams money and gets plenty of attention, and that’s a shame. There’s no love. There’s no intimacy. There’s just me, and these are my thoughts. This is what feeling defeated and alone is like. This is stepping back and really looking at society and saying is this it because if this is all that’s there for me when it comes to relationships, then maybe I’m better off continuing this journey alone.