Gold

   I often write about my personal thoughts on here, so in continuing with that tradition, I wanted to talk about something that’s been on my mind lately. We have a measuring stick that we use to judge everyone around us, including ourselves. I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about. It determines if you’re marriage material, what you have, and how hard you must have worked in most people’s eyes. Money is our way of measuring everything in our society. The highest paid must be the most valuable employees, and the people who have wealth must be hard workers and have their life together. Is that really true, though? Does this singular thing measure our value accurately? Does it even make us happy?

   I was recently thinking about what I would do if I won the lottery. The first thought that came to my mind was that I would pay off my house. After that, I had nothing. I thought of a few things I would do for my closest family members and friends, but after that, I was baffled. I truly wanted nothing that money could buy. It was strange. I had thought for years that wealth could hold the key to happiness for me, but truthfully, the things I love are either people or extremely cheap possessions. That realization sparked another thought. In my lifetime, what have I ever wanted expensive clothes for? Simply to impress another person on a date or in an interview. Secondly, I’m not really a car guy. Why would I want a new sports car that was extremely expensive? Would it truly bring me joy? The answer is no. Once again, it would just be some attempt at standing out in the crowd. Maybe if I had that possession, someone great would notice me. Then I thought about a bigger house. That wasn’t even something I wanted. The house I have is already too much for one person. The only reason I would be going down that road would be to look appealing for someone who was trying to find a long-term partner.

   You see, it all comes back to people. We want to be more appealing, and all the while, we judge others based on the fact that they can give us things that we probably don’t even desire. It’s a circle, and it makes no sense. Once I realized this, I asked what truly made me happy. Chocolate, books, kisses, music, video games, laughter, good food, and time holding onto the ones I care about . . . those are the things that came to mind. They all have one thing in common. None of them are expensive. As a matter of fact, some of them are even free. All this time, I’ve been looking at people in terms of whether they have their life together or what they have to offer, but I’ve ignored the real questions I should be asking. Can they make me laugh? Do we have common interests? Can they put up with my obsession with music? Maybe most importantly, how do they make me feel? Do our talks leave me wanting more? Do their kisses make an electric feeling shoot through my body that’s like nothing else? Do I find myself wanting to spend more and more time with them? Finally, am I happy in the simplest form just to see their face every day?

   It’s not rocket science, but I think we make it that. We pick our friends and relationships based on what others have and can give us materially, but all the gold and glamour in the world can’t replace the laughter and love we can share with one person who truly sets our heart on fire. After all, that gold and glamour only exists to make an image that will attract someone special. What I’ve got to start realizing is that I don’t want the bait. It would be easy to see a woman with the perfect look, education level, and career, and say that she’s everything I want, but I’ve found that it’s never that simple. It’s usually the one who can stay up talking to me until three in the morning about a bunch of her far-fetched dreams that will probably never come true who truly captivates me. There’s something about a dreamer that always trumps a person who’s left that behind for a certain kind of boring perfection where everything in their life is already certain. It’s the one who takes my breath away when she’s in sweat pants and has no makeup on who overshadows any outfit or effort into being something she’s not. Finally, it’s definitely not the one who goes out with me to the nicest restaurant in our expensive clothes and nice car. It’s the girl who can sit with me and watch Netflix all day without desiring anything more.

   We spend an insane amount of money on happiness every year. We buy new clothes, new cars, constantly try to figure out how to change our look and manage our weight, and all the while, we never realize that none of this makes us happy. We think what would I do if I were rich? A big house, a beautiful car, a model, and the best wardrobe possible come to mind. It’s funny, but none of those things give us an emotional connection at all. I think the key to happiness is easier than we think. A place to lay your head, a membership to Netflix, and someone to sit beside you and just enjoy a night of laughter, dreaming, and love is all that my heart really desires. If I had that, I would truly be a rich man beyond all the gold or riches in this world.