The Only Real Judgement

It’s the eve before my release of Destiny, and I feel really good. Most of the time, I feel nervous about now. I start wondering how my new book will be received. Will people like it? Will it sell well? Am I making a huge mistake by putting it out there for everyone to see? It’s easy to let those thoughts creep in, and I’ve been guilty of it so many times in my life. Today is different, though. Today I don’t need approval or sales. I welcome those things, but I don’t need anything more than I already have right now. I know Destiny is exactly what I intended it to be. I can’t predict the future. People might love it, and it could be the greatest thing I’ve ever done. Then again, it might not click for everyone, and people might wonder why I was making such a big deal about it. Here’s the thing, though. It doesn’t really matter. I’m incredibly proud of Destiny. I think it’s the best thing I’ve ever written, and honestly, I think it’s one of the best things I’ve ever read. Maybe I’m not supposed to say that. We’re supposed to be humble and care about what everyone else thinks. As a matter of fact, most of us spend the majority of our lives doing just that. We base our entire lives around what other people think. Don’t believe me? Think about what motivates your decisions. Why did you go into the field you went into? Why do you dress the way you do? How often do you change the way you act around different friends? Do you worry about your appearance? Do you let the criticism of others sting and linger until their opinion becomes one with yours, and you find that your opinion of yourself is skewed? I know I did. You see, this blog isn’t just about Destiny. It’s also about life. I’ve spent most of my life caring about if people thought I was smart enough, attractive, funny, and creative. I never once asked myself what I thought. Their opinions caused me to form my own view of myself. When I was praised, I held my head up high, and when I was criticized, I felt like I was worthless. I felt every which way depending on who I was around and what I was doing. I’ve felt too fat and too skinny, too brainy and too dumb, and maybe most of all, like I had something significant to contribute to this world and like I was completely useless. I allowed everyone else’s warped opinions of who I am to define my own view. The silly thing is that most of them didn’t even know me very well. As a matter of fact, the people who do know me are actually a source of inspiration and confidence building.

You might be wondering what the point is, so here it is. I’m in a different state of mind. How you think I look, talk, act, or even just how smart you think I am doesn’t matter to me. Maybe it’s supposed to, but it just doesn’t. I’m proud of who I am. Sure, I’m imperfect, but I think I’ve spent far too long focusing on that. Here are the facts that I used to never let myself see. I’m attractive, creative, I have an IQ well above average, and I have a sense of humor so good that I even laugh at my own jokes. ;) I also wrote a book in Destiny that no one else could. That’s not to say it’s the greatest thing ever written because that’s probably not true, and to assume it would be pretty arrogant. Here’s the thing, though. No one could write that book from my unique perspective. It’s mine, and it’s completely honest in how it’s told. In the same way, every one of you have a unique beauty and wit about you. You also have so many stories to tell, whether they’re through books or some other creative medium. That creativity inside of you isn’t perfect, and many people might even see it as flawed, but it’s everything it’s supposed to be. It’s beautiful, and it can never be replicated by another person. That’s the amazing thing about us. There are 7 billion people on the planet and every one of us is different in some way. I find that we try to be normal far too often, though. We try to shape our look, speech, and dreams based on what society tells us is normal, but on a planet where every person is unique, what exactly is normal? I don’t really think there is such a thing, so here’s what I’m proposing. Be creative in your own unique way, celebrate the body God gave you, and find the good in every area of yourself. It’s there. It’s just buried under what people have said you are. When you stop letting their views affect you, life becomes so much better. What you are won’t always be celebrated by everyone, but it’s a really freeing feeling when you finally accept that it’s okay for that to be the case and just be who you were always meant to be. Be proud, be creative, and most importantly, don’t ever let someone else define one look, opinion, or dream.