Back To Being Me

   I’ve just gotten back from a very relaxing get away, and a lot of things became clear to me while I was resting. The most apparent thing was that what I’m doing in my professional and personal life isn’t working for me. I love writing, and I am exactly who I want to be, but I need to find ways to do things in different ways and find more people to share common bonds with in my personal life. I think this is going to lead to a much more relaxed Mitch. I’m going back to what got me to where I am today. I used to write for one reason - because I loved it. Then at some point it became about money and expectations, or at least part of it did. I don’t want my purpose to become a job, so I’m going back to writing as much as I can in a day because when I’m hitting these keys, I’m free. When I’m done writing, and I can no longer think for another second, I’m going to spend time with the people I love and pursue others who will appreciate me for exactly who I am. That sounds simple, but we’re always looking for better people and better purposes in our lives. When we constantly try to get to the next step in life, we can often overlook how great the current one is, though. Here are the facts. I do what I love, I have a beautiful new home in a great neighborhood, and I have some great people in my life who appreciate me for exactly who I am with my flaws and all. That’s what I’m going to focus on more moving forward.

   Now, for the second thing I realized. I can’t keep concerning myself with how I should write based on what others want or how other authors do things. I’m going to write about what I’m passionate about and release books as fast or slowly as I desire to. At the end of the day, writing is a lot like showing the world your soul. All you can do is explain what’s there. Anything else will come off as phony. Sometimes it takes two weeks to find the perfect words that make up a book, and sometimes it takes years. I’m going back to being the confident me who wouldn’t have cared about what anyone but myself thought about books that are as much a part of me as a physical body part. From the personal side of things, this applies, too. I worry too much about being liked, and I can be too nice. I’ve always believed that you should give people respect and treat them with kindness whenever possible, but I think I’ve taken that too far. I’ve allowed people to disrespect me all in the hopes of being the person I’m supposed to be. It’s hard to take the high road, and I think sometimes I’m going to skip on it in the future. The future Mitch will give people understanding and respect, but if he doesn’t get it back in return, he’s going to cut that person out of his life. I’m searching for good people who can appreciate the best and worst of me. I’ve always felt like I’m the type of person who can accept even the largest of flaws in others, but many have expected me to be perfect in spite of me having no such expectations for them. That’s over now. I’m flawed, I’m not always going to be nice, and I’m only going to surround myself with people who can see the best in me while accepting the worst.

   Maybe this blog won’t make a lot of sense to most people reading it, but this is what you should know. I found clarity on my vacation, and it came in the form of realizing that the majority of the stress in my life comes from others’ opinions and expectations. That ends now. This is me saying that I no longer care. The old me didn’t have a care in the world when it came to others’ beliefs or expectations when it related to my journey. Here’s to me taking my journey back and finding my happiness. My writing will change, and there will be no more Mr. Nice Guy all the time, but it’s going to be truly amazing to go back to what got me here. I’m confident, talented, and I have far more than I need. It’s time that I started acting like it again. This is me saying goodbye to depression and hello to a familiar feeling of confidence. I need that, and in my heart, I know my own value. I’m just glad that the last few days have shown me exactly who I am. For a few months there, I think I forgot who I was, what I had to offer, and what I’ve already accomplished. That’s not going to happen again, though. I’m not going to get back to work on books because it was never work. I’m getting back to what I love, and more importantly, I’m getting back to being me. A frown will be replaced with a smile that for the first time in a while, I feel like I truly deserve. I can’t wait to show everyone what I’ve got in store for the future.