Fading

Today I want to talk about something that we all fear - fading, fizzling out, getting too old, or whatever else you want to call it. No matter what people do, they’re afraid it will turn into a shadow of what it used to be. It’s why professional athletes walk away earlier and earlier every year. It’s why we stop writing after that project we know we’ll never be able to top. It’s also why we give up on our relationships. When a marriage loses its shine or a friendship begins to slowly fade out, we don’t stick around to watch it burn anymore. We simply walk away hoping to remember the good times and accept the fading of love and relation as a natural part of human interaction. Maybe all of this really is natural. After all, it’s nearly impossible to grow with somebody year after year without losing the spark that brought you together to begin with, and with every athlete or worker, they know when they’re on the way down. It’s better to go out on top, or so they say.

I don’t look at life the way most do. I’m not afraid of fading. If my relationships must burn, then I want to watch them burn all the way to the ground while fighting for the good moments that might still be left, however rare they may be. When my career reaches a peak and I know I can never be what I once was, I want to fade all the way back to where I started and for it to become painfully obvious that no one cares for what I do anymore. I want to be dragged away from the things and people I love kicking and screaming for things to be like they were.

I know what you’re thinking. What about being graceful? It’s what most say we should do. Exit the stage before you become a sad joke, right? It makes sense, but I’ve been a joke many times in my life. I’ve tried sports I wasn’t good at, been too fat or too skinny, and I’ve failed at many things that might have changed my life. As a matter of fact, if I added up the list of successes and failures in my life, I’m confident that my failures would be much longer. It’s those brief moments in life that make them worth it, though. It’s that moment where you accomplish something you didn’t know you could do, someone takes your breath away, or you persevere failure only to find a lesson that leads you to success when you truly see why life is so beautiful. The worst thing about this life isn’t failure I’ve found. It’s thinking back to what you decided not to do. It’s being bold instead of graceful. I’ve found that out the hard way, and that’s why I’m writing this to you. If you’re wondering if you should quit on a passion, a person, or a purpose, then think really hard about this question. What do you fear more - being humbled or spending the rest of your life wondering what could have been? Be the one who left nothing unsaid or undone because when you’re eighty and you find that your passions aren’t an option anymore, you’ll wonder what could’ve been. Could that girl have been the one to love you if you had tried a little longer? Was your big break just around the corner? Should you have been a little more selfish and stayed past your time at work?

We don’t get to go back. We have one direction, and it’s forward. Perhaps nothing matters on Earth. If you believe in God, then that will be a truth for you. The only thing that truly matters is that we are welcomed into His kingdom. If that is so, then what is this life other than a playground where for a short time we get to take chances on things and people that we may never see again? Now is the time, whether you think you lay in the ground forever when you die or there’s an afterlife. We get a chance for one great love here, a few passions, and even fewer purposes. Be really careful about who or what you quit on because there are worse things than watching the best parts of your life fade. Win or lose; hate or love, there will be a time when you wish you could have one more day to take another shot at it because it isn’t the great successes we miss when it’s all over. We miss the process, the great joy and pain of it all; the great love and the great fights that made us who we were. You’ll never get to go back, so play even the bad cards of your life because otherwise what’s the sense in even having those last years, challenges, and loves?