I often write about my personal
thoughts on here, so in continuing with that tradition, I wanted to talk about
something that’s been on my mind lately. We have a measuring stick that we use
to judge everyone around us, including ourselves. I’m sure you know exactly
what I’m talking about. It determines if you’re marriage material, what you
have, and how hard you must have worked in most people’s eyes. Money is our way
of measuring everything in our society. The highest paid must be the most
valuable employees, and the people who have wealth must be hard workers and
have their life together. Is that really true, though? Does this singular thing
measure our value accurately? Does it even make us happy?
I was recently thinking about what I
would do if I won the lottery. The first thought that came to my mind was that
I would pay off my house. After that, I had nothing. I thought of a few things
I would do for my closest family members and friends, but after that, I was
baffled. I truly wanted nothing that money could buy. It was strange. I had
thought for years that wealth could hold the key to happiness for me, but
truthfully, the things I love are either people or extremely cheap possessions.
That realization sparked another thought. In my lifetime, what have I ever
wanted expensive clothes for? Simply to impress another person on a date or in
an interview. Secondly, I’m not really a car guy. Why would I want a new sports
car that was extremely expensive? Would it truly bring me joy? The answer is
no. Once again, it would just be some attempt at standing out in the crowd.
Maybe if I had that possession, someone great would notice me. Then I thought
about a bigger house. That wasn’t even something I wanted. The house I have is
already too much for one person. The only reason I would be going down that
road would be to look appealing for someone who was trying to find a long-term
partner.
You see, it all comes back to people. We
want to be more appealing, and all the while, we judge others based on the fact
that they can give us things that we probably don’t even desire. It’s a circle,
and it makes no sense. Once I realized this, I asked what truly made me happy.
Chocolate, books, kisses, music, video games, laughter, good food, and time
holding onto the ones I care about . . . those are the things that came to
mind. They all have one thing in common. None of them are expensive. As a
matter of fact, some of them are even free. All this time, I’ve been looking at
people in terms of whether they have
their life together or what they have
to offer, but I’ve ignored the real questions I should be asking. Can they
make me laugh? Do we have common interests? Can they put up with my obsession
with music? Maybe most importantly, how do they make me feel? Do our talks
leave me wanting more? Do their kisses make an electric feeling shoot through
my body that’s like nothing else? Do I find myself wanting to spend more and
more time with them? Finally, am I happy in the simplest form just to see their
face every day?
It’s not rocket science, but I think
we make it that. We pick our friends and relationships based on what others
have and can give us materially, but all the gold and glamour in the world
can’t replace the laughter and love we can share with one person who truly sets
our heart on fire. After all, that gold and glamour only exists to make an
image that will attract someone special. What I’ve got to start realizing is
that I don’t want the bait. It would be easy to see a woman with the perfect
look, education level, and career, and say that she’s everything I want, but
I’ve found that it’s never that simple. It’s usually the one who can stay up
talking to me until three in the morning about a bunch of her far-fetched
dreams that will probably never come true who truly captivates me. There’s
something about a dreamer that always trumps a person who’s left that behind
for a certain kind of boring perfection where everything in their life is
already certain. It’s the one who takes my breath away when she’s in sweat
pants and has no makeup on who overshadows any outfit or effort into being
something she’s not. Finally, it’s definitely not the one who goes out with me
to the nicest restaurant in our expensive clothes and nice car. It’s the girl
who can sit with me and watch Netflix all day without desiring anything more.
We spend an insane amount of money
on happiness every year. We buy new clothes, new cars, constantly try to figure
out how to change our look and manage our weight, and all the while, we never
realize that none of this makes us happy. We think what would I do if I were
rich? A big house, a beautiful car, a model, and the best wardrobe possible
come to mind. It’s funny, but none of those things give us an emotional
connection at all. I think the key to happiness is easier than we think. A
place to lay your head, a membership to Netflix, and someone to sit beside you
and just enjoy a night of laughter, dreaming, and love is all that my heart
really desires. If I had that, I would truly be a rich man beyond all the gold
or riches in this world.
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