Roadmaps

   I’m going to talk about something today that none of us like. I’m mentioning it in a light that you might not be used to, though. To me, our greatest weaknesses show our true strength. We all look into a mirror occasionally and see things that we would change. Oftentimes, we hear words connected to those thoughts. They aren’t our own words. They’re the words of people who have made us feel less than. I’ll give you a few examples of things I’ve heard when I looked into the mirror in the past. “You’re too fat.” “You’re too skinny. You look sick.” You’re too quiet and awkward.” You’re too loud.” “You’re stupid.” “You’ll never be anyone.”

   None of those are very happy things to remember, and they certainly didn’t do anything for my confidence. Some of them were even at odds with each other. I was fat, so I lost weight. When I looked into the mirror, I was happy, but others came along who said I looked too skinny and sick. I was too quiet, and I tried to talk more, but people didn’t like that either. It seemed like I couldn’t please anyone at one point, and that’s when I decided to just be myself, no matter what that was. I realized something. What I see in that mirror is a roadmap of where I’ve been. When I saw someone who was too fat, this is what I really saw. I saw a boy who had been told he wasn’t important and that he wasn’t intelligent. That guy felt like absolutely no one. Here’s the thing, though. He didn’t mistreat others, even though they mistreated him. He certainly didn’t swallow a bunch of pills to try to end it all either. It seemed like there was no hope back then, but all that guy did was eat too much ice cream. As much as others harmed him, he didn’t harm anyone but himself. (Although it did taste very good!) That person in the mirror shouldn’t have been ashamed. He should have been proud. When all the people around him looked for a way to spew their own personal garbage onto everyone else, he didn’t. He survived with class and dignity.

   Here’s what I’m trying to say. Our control, or lack thereof, is a clear sign of what we’re surviving in life, and if I’m being too quiet for you, it’s likely because I’m thoughtful and not like most who say the first thing that comes to their mind. When we look into our mirrors, we see scars. That much is completely true. The shame we feel because of those scars is the ridiculous part, however. That image is your story. Every scar, wrinkle, and mental blemish in your eyes shows the roadmap to where you’ve been - what you’ve survived. It’s not a reflection of your weakness. It’s a perfect picture of your strength. You survived everything that made you who you are today, and no matter what anyone thinks of you, it’s those blemishes that give you the ability to be the person you are. They remind you of who you were and still are. They tell you that you’re a survivor. It’s those voices of people who don’t want that story to be special because theirs is completely pedestrian that ruins our view of ourselves. Don’t let it. A body without scars, wrinkles, and blemishes is one that hasn’t experienced life yet, and eyes that don’t hold some pain are the doorway to a soul that has yet to experience the loss of anything worth losing. In short, those people who cheapen your story are the ones who should really be regretful. They’ve never lived. There is no roadmap yet. They’re young, and they’re beautiful, but they’ve never lost someone and gone into a depression that resulted in them gaining ten pounds. They’ve probably never even cared enough about someone to go into a depression over them. They’ve never been a mother with stretch marks who sacrificed their body to have a baby. They don’t know that those stretch marks are the story of a process where someone gave birth to a life that was so wonderful. They use words like stupid, nothing, and ugly as if they’re routine, and it’s very telling. Beauty is only skin deep with them, and value is only measured in how much you can do for them. You’re letting the words of someone matter who has yet to lose, love, or know the true value of a person who can see through the image we put on for the world and peer through to the soul to see our true beauty. It is beautiful, too. Every scar has a story, and we’re still here, so it also has a triumphant ending. When we lost people, we survived, and when others belittled our value, we found a way to rise above and flourish in ways that they’ll never truly understand. That’s what I see when I look into the mirror, and I hope you wear those scars, pounds, and wrinkles proudly and as a sign of strength. They are your light and a sign that you can overcome anything. The real shame would be if you let someone make that roadmap into anything less than you deserve. You went through it. You earned every blemish. Let it be a reminder of how amazing you are and what you’re truly capable of, rather than an insecurity planted there by someone who never truly knew you or the story that every part of you told.