Call To Action

   I want to talk about something that isn’t popular today. When things like this are brought up, the words judging and tolerance are thrown around. I want everyone to know from the start that I’m not judging, but I’m aware enough to see the real world around me. I’m tolerant to those of us who need understanding, but I’m not blind to those who simply refuse to try. Maybe most importantly, I don’t preach anything that I’m not also preaching right back at myself. Now, let me get started.

   I need to get something off my chest that I’ve been thinking about for over a year. I have wanted to write about this from the start, but I’ve been discouraged from doing so for fear of how people would react. I no longer care about that, though. I believe some things need to be acknowledged for change to ever occur. I see a moral and mental decay happening all around me and even within myself. We live in a society that says things like, “Don’t worry. Be Happy,” “Be tolerant,” and “I’ve been forgiven by God.” All of these can be good things. Obviously you should try to be happy, be tolerant of the things that cannot be changed, and ask for forgiveness from God and the people you’ve wronged, but we’ve turned these things into get out of jail free cards. I don’t believe that’s what they were intended to be. Let’s examine our happiness, or from what I’ve seen, delusion.

   We all tend to want to believe nothing can ever happen to us or that we live in the best place in the world. How is this possible, though? I’ve seen scientific studies where they asked smokers what they thought their chances of getting cancer were. They usually replied with a statistic that was over twice as low as the real number. When they were told the chances of a cigarette killing them, they replied with delusional statements like, “not me.” Now, I’m not picking on smokers, but this is a good example of how we all act. We project that things are going much better than they are until it’s too late. In some ways, we lie to ourselves. We tell ourselves that we’ll never be the ones to get sick as our bodies get unhealthier by the day. We never see diabetes and heart problems coming in this country, even though we have a bigger chance of getting these diseases than any other place in the world. Our husbands look at porn, and our wives read erotica without ever thinking about the harm we’re doing to our relationships. We allow our desires to slowly but surely destroy our trust with our partners until the relationship dies, but we never for one second think that we could be the ones to get a divorce, even though our actions clearly say that we don’t even want to be in an intimate relationship with someone. We let friendships slip away and then wonder why we’re alone. We settle for a text message or a Facebook “like” when we could be having lunch with an old friend. We drift apart. As America’s education system slips further behind the world, we say the US is number one while never acknowledging that our children aren’t equipped to make us anything close to that in the future. Why? Why do we lie to ourselves? Some say it’s because we need to see delusions. If we didn’t, we would be overwhelmed. I say we should be happy, but it should be because we know we’re moving in the right direction, not because we’re always doing the easiest thing. Be health conscious, explore your inner desires with the person you married, learn to be a friend again, and for God’s sake, acknowledge that our future is the bleakest it’s ever been. This America is the worst one to grow up in for quite some time, and that is a shame. Our children’s children deserve better than we’ve been given. Unfortunately, without the acknowledgment that there’s a problem, I don’t believe anything will ever change.

   Let’s move on to the word tolerance. I love this word, but I hate the way we use it. You should be tolerant to those who cannot change, those who are misfortunate, and those who do things that you personally do not like but you know the issue lies with you. Where does tolerance stop, though? When does letting everyone lead us to a morally decaying society where anything is admissible stop? We see people today who promote things that poison the mind and body who are glorified for their actions. Women who overly sexualize themselves are said to be heroes while women who have the confidence to be attractive for everything they are on the inside and out without using sex as a tool are viewed as prudes. Why? Where is the value in a person who uses such a thing to get ahead in life? They use the emotions of men to move forward, and eventually, they even start to believe that their body is their number one tool instead of their mind. What about the men who sleep with multiple partners? We glorify a man who has many partners. It’s made into a fun joke, and at the end of it all, he gets to marry a decent person as if none of that ever happened. We never think about the people he hurt along the way or the trust he ripped away from women who would never truly trust another man. Our society simply says things like be tolerant of other peoples’ lifestyles. Why are we so quick to be tolerant of lifestyles that hurt the people around us? These things rip the trust out of the fabric of our relationships and make us into no more than mindless shells who use and abuse everyone around us but yet we’re taught to be tolerant. It makes no sense, and it never will. Be tolerant of those who cannot change, but stop glorifying or making excuses for the users of our world.

   The final one I want to talk about is forgiveness. We throw this word around in the Christian community like it’s a magic eraser that makes our actions disappear. I have bad news. It doesn’t. When you ask God or a loved one for forgiveness, they usually forgive you, but what good do those words do? When we apologize to our spouses only to learn nothing about our actions and to do the same thing over and over again, what meaning is there in the words? Why do we even bother to say them? The truth is we say them because gaining someone’s forgiveness makes us feel better about ourselves. There was never a plan to correct our behavior because in our society’s eyes, forgiveness is the key to restoration. I have bad news, though. You can never be truly sorry for an action until you have a course of action to change your behavior. What about Christians who say, “I’m forgiven?” I have no problem with someone saying that Jesus has forgiven them for their sins. This is what I have a problem with. All the time I see young people who have made countless mistakes. They’ve lied, cheated, fornicated, and been drunkards. They say they want to change their lives, though, so they ask God for forgiveness. The word born again virgin has even been thrown around. What do they do after they say a few words to God and make an announcement to the church? They go right back to their ways. They have sex, drink, and continue to use the well-intentioned people in their lives. After all, they’ve said they were sorry, and God will always forgive them, so why bother actually changing? This part can come off as judging, but that’s okay. Maybe we all need to hear things like this sometimes. I’m not perfect. I make mistakes daily, and some of the mistakes I make I might never apologize for. Do you know why? It’s because I don’t want to apologize for something until I’m truly willing to change it. To be sorry is to admit you’re wrong, but without action after that wrong, it is absolutely meaningless. This blog today is a call to action. Stop being delusional. There are things about all of us that cannot be changed, but there are very few of them. The greatest inventors, preachers, writers, and engineers of our world have refused to accept the mediocrity of this world and themselves. They’ve worked to improve themselves and refused to accept mediocrity for so long that the very culture around them changed into something better than it was before. Stop being blind to your failures and the people around you who aren’t carrying their weight. Have high expectations for everyone around you, including yourself. Only when you do this will you have a chance at having the life you deserve. Don’t accept those who use others either. They aren’t heroes. People who use sex, drugs, and threats of violence to control others do not deserve your understanding because their actions are beyond reason or morality. Finally, stop hiding behind the word sorry. An apology won’t erase an action. If you’ve done something wrong, live with the consequences. Some mistakes cause wounds that will never heal, but if you don’t do anything to stop the bleeding how will you ever know what could have been? If you hide behind your religion or an apology that means nothing, how will you know what a changed “you” could have been like? You felt guilt for a reason, and no, God is NOT a get out of jail free card. He will forgive you, but you still have to live with the effect your actions caused. People who you’ve wronged will not pretend that you never did anything even if they forgive you. It’s not their job or God’s to repair the damage you’ve done. An apology is only the first step in repairing that, and if you only said some words to ease your conscience, then there is no hope of redemption for you.

   Now, I know this blog seems bleak, but it’s really not. It’s a call to action. Fight for your health, marriages, friendships, and children. Stop being blind! This country is truly filled with the blind leading the blind, and it’s time for us to put a stop to that. Stop being tolerant to those who harm us, and maybe most importantly, stop letting words mean anything without actions. Let your actions be everything people need to know about you, and don’t forget to hold the people in your life to the same standard you hold yourself to. Only with personal responsibility, awareness, and a newfound moral obligation will we ever be able to be the people we were destined to be.