Stability

   Today I wanted to talk about something that most people desire. People love stability, whether it’s financial stability or just an even keel person who is always stable for them. We work for our entire lives to be financially secure, make marriages and relationships that are stable, and become consistent as people. We think those qualities are the most important things in life. After all, if we’re stable and the people in our lives are predictable, then we can always rest easy. I view things a little differently, though. People’s normal stable lives just aren’t realistic, and honestly, I find it all a little boring. Now, I’m going to tell you why.

   First of all, we try to be more stable as people. We want to find a career that we can stick with for 30+ years, pay for a mortgage on the same house for 30 years, drive a secure family car, and always be the person who is consistent for our boss and coworkers. That’s all great if you can find the perfect career, and if you never change. Here’s the thing, though. We all change whether we realize it or not. It’s just a fact of life. You change chemically as you get older, and those chemicals affect everything from your thoughts to your perceptions and interests. You might have dreamed of being a lawyer when you were younger. As you get older, your law career may grow boring, however. What if you find that after practicing law for a decade that you’re burned out and tired? What if all you want to do now is something that’s the exact opposite of law? I say go for it. We’re taught to stick with a career - to not change, but I think that not exploring new options in your work life is what makes it work. Too often we do the stable thing instead of what we’re passionate about. Life is too short to spend thirty years, or even one year, doing something that you hate.

   Secondly, being financially stable is a great thing. I’m stable, and I want to keep it that way. The problem I see in this area is when people become obsessed with being stable. I’ve known several people who have a certain number in their mind of what should be in their bank account at all times, and any time they fall below that number, it’s like they lose their minds. They spend countless hours trying to figure out how to save enough money to meet their own expectations, which most of the time is much higher than what they need to actually be stable. I thought that the purpose of being financially stable was so you didn’t have to worry, but unfortunately, people still find a way to worry even when they have more money than they need. I guess what I’m saying is this. Realize that no matter what at some point in your life you’re not going to be where you want to be financially. As long as you have a roof over your head and food in your stomach, don’t sweat it, though. It’s not worth worrying about every day of your life.

   Finally, we all want relationships that are stable. In some ways, that’s understandable. You don’t want the person you’re with to be all over the place, but some people take the word stable to the extremes. They will perceive any little change in their relationship as bad. I’ve never understood this, though. I think that relationships lose their purpose when they stop changing. We form relationships to experience life with someone else. When you become that couple that goes to the same places, does the same things, and has the same conversations, you’re no longer living life together. You’re repeating an endless loop. Instead of wanting consistency in our relationships, I think we should want constant growth and change. That sounds odd, but when you’re constantly growing and changing with the person that you love beside you, it’s truly exhilarating. You won’t always change in the same ways, but you’ll grow to love the person that your loved one is becoming, and in turn, they’ll grow to love whatever it is that you’re changing into.

   You see, I actually hate repetition or stability in most areas of life. Whoever said change is bad was an idiot. Change brings growth and new experiences. The effort that it takes to be stable in every area of your life takes more effort than it’s worth. Sometimes it’s nice to just let life and your heart take you where they want to go. When you do, you’re much happier. Nothing’s sure in that scenario, but once you’re okay with that fact, it’s truly extraordinary to be surprised by who you may become tomorrow.